


Apartment 209

by aquietdin



Category: Persona 4
Genre: AU, Alternate Universe, Angst, Camwhoring, Developing Relationship, Exhibitionism, Falling In Love, Fluff, Frottage, Hand Jobs, M/M, Masturbation, Past Child Abuse, a whole lotta fluff, background Yukiko/Chie, copious amounts of cam-boy smut, wet dreams
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-14
Updated: 2016-09-06
Packaged: 2018-07-24 01:02:50
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 27,148
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7487241
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aquietdin/pseuds/aquietdin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Yu Narukami has begun his new life in Okina city, finally free from his parents' iron grip. With a college degree, a new job, and a place of his own, he can live as he wants. At least, that's the plan, until his startlingly familiar next door neighbor takes all those plans and throws them off a thousand foot bridge.</p><p>For a kink meme prompt: "I can’t believe I had the terrible luck to move in beside my favorite cam boy and I have to act cool."</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Moving In

Three boxes.

That was the entirety of his life. Three medium sized cardboard boxes, one duffel bag, his wallet, his phone, and the clothes on his back. It was more than enough.

Yu sighed happily as the train began to slow, approaching Okina station. He'd waited years for this day. Most of his life, to be honest. Today was the first day of his life, the life that he could finally claim for himself and not his parents.

He exited the train car and checked his phone, pulling it from his pocket along with a small map. He could have taken a taxi or a local train to his new home, but it was less than two miles away. After six hours in commute, a nice long walk in the fresh spring air sounded wonderful.

A mile into his journey, Yu stopped at a small stand and purchased a bento, which he took to a nearby bench to eat. The food here was different from what he was used to. It was small potatoes and root vegetables and aged tofu, with plain rice and soy sauce packets with cartoon characters on them. A little country, significantly less refined than his usual fare, and delicious.

He found the apartment building easily enough, nestled into a line of trees near a light rail stop. The train he'd be taking to work every day would stop there. The unfamiliarity of his situation didn't dull his enthusiasm at all, even when the landlord turned out to be a gruff old man and not the personable lady he'd spoken to on the phone. Paperwork signed and keys in hand, Yu went for his apartment - _his apartment_ \- number 208. With a clack the key turned, the door opened, and he flicked on the light.

It was small, so small. Barely a hundred square meters split between a living room, kitchen, bathroom and single bedroom. The air smelled dusty and some of the paint was cracked. It was so tiny, a glorified closet. Microscopic. And it was absolutely perfect.

Yu peeled himself out of his jacket and shoes and sat in the middle of the living space, dropping his duffel bag and zipping it open to fish out his phone charger. Today was Friday, and he would be starting his new job Monday morning. That gave Yu two days to unpack, make sure his three boxes and brand new, internet ordered futon arrived safely, and check out the second hand shops for the rest of what he'd need. He would have to sleep on the floor tonight, but he didn't mind one bit. This apartment was his, his new life was starting, and at twenty two years old he felt as giddy as a child.

\-----

Yu awoke with a jolt the next day, a split second of panic racing through him that maybe he'd just dreamed the train ride, maybe he would still be in his parents high rise loft with the air conditioning too strong and the permeating smell of disinfectant. But he wasn't there, not anymore, as he happily stared up at the slightly yellowed ceiling.

He'd brought a small pillow and a throw blanket in his bag, but still ended up sleeping on a bed of clothes. It would be fine. His phone read seven in the morning, and the sun was peaking through the kitchen window. Several limbs popped as Yu stretched, pulling out some of his less rumpled slacks and a shirt and beginning his day.

Yu had never been to Okina, but he was thankfully blessed with a good sense of direction. He took the light rail to downtown and went shopping, first for a few toiletries, then some random necessities for his new home. He could get groceries at the supermarket later. Right now, he was more interested in poking around at the used goods stalls on a nearby shopping street.

At three he was returning triumphant with his purchases, carefully made using money he'd been stashing for months: a table and cushion for his living room, a lamp, a set of bowls, plates, and cups, and a large stew pot that the shop owner had stuffed full of various spoons and ladles when she'd heard him say that he was on his own for the first time. The table and cushion were delivered by the shop owner's son, a man probably just a bit younger than Yu, with a bright smile full of endearingly crooked teeth.

His boxes and new futon had come while he was out, and Yu went to the office to fetch them. Once in his apartment he began to unpack. His entire life was in three boxes, or at least the only part of his life that he was willing to take with him. His clothes, bathroom items, a small flat screen television (still in the box), sheets, some books, a sauce pot and a pair of cooking chopsticks, as well as a week's worth of dry instant meals and disposable plates and cutlery. Along with his new items and a few small bags worth of fresh groceries, Yu was all set.

His laptop had come with him in the duffel bag, too precious to entrust to anyone else. He was thankful his parents hadn't tried to demand it back. They had bought it for him during his second year of college, and it had been the one thing that kept him sane in his last two years living in that awful place.

It was through that laptop and a high speed internet connection that he'd been able to figure a lot of things out about himself. Things that helped him understand just how terrible his situation was, that he was being treated as a possession and not a person. That the 'grooming' he was suffering was considered abuse by most. That an arranged marriage to the daughter of a partner company would make him miserable in more ways than one. But as long as he was financially dependent, he was powerless. So he planned, kept his head down, obeyed, saved up his money. Finished college with a degree in business management, salutatorian, and took the first job he was offered. Then the week after graduation, Yu announced he was leaving - the day before his train was set to depart - and effectively dropped a nuclear bomb on the bridge between himself and his biological mother and father.

Getting on that train had felt so good that he'd almost cried.

Opening his laptop with one hand and balancing a soda with the other (another act of rebellion, his parents detested soda), Yu opened an internet browser and checked his bookmarks. He was smart enough to set up his internet to be ready when he moved in, along with a brand new email address and phone number. It was Saturday, so there wouldn't be any streams that he was interested in, but he could look at some photo galleries.

Yu wasn't entirely sure how he'd stumbled upon camwhoring. He looked at porn occasionally, always online because his parents had no sense of privacy, and only clearing his internet history was effective. It mostly bored him at first, all the pictures were overly airbrushed and the videos spent far too long focusing on the girl's face as she made over exaggerated moans and phoned-in dirty talk. It seemed to do little for him.

It wasn't until he clicked on a video with a blurry thumbnail and was greeted with a video of two men that something finally clicked.

It was a revelation, to say the least.

From there Yu looked solely at gay porn, and for the first time he found it honestly arousing. He tried watching solo videos, faceless views of men with impressive dicks jacking off, and, as he delved further, fucking themselves on dildos and other toys.

The next few months saw Yu bouncing around random porn sites, forums, and even anonymous chats where he was able to talk to people, actually talk, type out things like _I'm pretty sure I'm gay_ and _I didn't know until now_ and _my parents would destroy me, what do I do?_ And the other men (and women) offered advice, some sympathized, a few others had gone through similar battles. They all said the same thing: get out of there while he could.

So he did.

Yu went to his most visited site, bookmarked nearly two years ago, and drew up his favorite profile, The Midnight Channel. The final stretch of his imprisonment was the worst, but one thing made it bearable: a cam boy who went by the name Jiraya.

He'd found the category one day when he realized the faceless masturbation videos weren't enough anymore. He craved some sort of interaction, he needed to feel like the person really wanted to be there, in front of the camera. And after a few clicks, he realized that yeah, he definitely had a kink for this kind of thing.

Jiraya was a young man; he had a baby face but his body was definitely adult, his stomach beautifully sculpted, taut chest, and slender but strong legs. God, his legs, long milky thighs and smooth calves that showed quivering muscle when he'd bounce on a dildo or get himself off with just his hand. He was skinny, but Yu preferred the skinny guys. Jiraya was good looking, too, with plump lips, a nice jaw, and feathered orange hair. His eyes were bright yellow - contacts, obviously - and surrounded with heavy, smokey eye makeup. Sometimes he wore lip gloss that made his mouth look wet and enticing. The combo of his boyish features and profane actions lit Yu up. Jiraya looked dangerous. Forbidden. Tempting.

He was exactly Yu's type.

Jiraya was very active in his streams, and incredibly vocal, always filling Yu's headphones with pants and moans and dirty talk that was on a whole new level. Incredibly obscene, and yet somehow still sincere and honest, like he really did love pleasuring himself in front of a camera for a chat room full of strangers. Yu had subscribed right away, routing the money through an online payment system that his parents couldn't track. It meant he got a higher quality stream, one that let him see the beads of sweat that would trickle down Jiraya's chest all the way to his gorgeous cock. It also meant Yu had chat access, and could make requests during the live streams. Jiraya had honored Yu twice, once to pretend it was his first time with a dildo, trembling as he put on an incredible show of being nervous about it. And the other... Yu still dreamed about it, hearing Jiraya pant and swear as he rubbed and pinched his nipples, desperately declaring over and over that he needed him, never naming a name, but it was easy enough to pretend that Jiraya was speaking directly to Yu (and not the hundred or so other people in chat).

Jiraya never recorded his streams, so Yu had no videos to watch, but he didn't mind. The cam boy would often post pictures and screenshots that anyone could see, mostly as advertisements for himself. The pictures were lewd, featuring Jiraya touching himself, showing off a toy, sucking a dildo down his throat. One photo, a favorite of Yu's, was Jiraya leaning back against his backdrop, chest splattered with come, making his signature 'okay' sign with his thumb and finger and winking at the camera as he gave a tired, sweaty grin.

It was pretty effective. Jiraya had an impressive follower count, and a few hundred paid subscribers. The guy had to be making a decent living.

With nothing better to do, Yu unzipped his pants and pulled his dick out, already hard, and laid back against the floor. He imagined Jiraya next to him, unbuttoning a dark dress shirt, revealing a long spans of skin. Jiraya sulking over, straddling Yu's legs, swatting his hands away from his cock and taking it up himself. He loved it most when Jiraya would leave some of his clothing on, like a shirt hanging off his shoulders or his pants around his knees. Yu probably had some form of clothing kink too, when he bothered to think about it.

His fantasy continued, and Jiraya was naked except for his open shirt, sitting up to press his cock against Yu's and stroke them together. He loved the idea of that, just rubbing dicks. He'd never so much as kissed another guy (how would he have had the chance with his life before), but Yu knew he'd love that, he wanted that. He sped up his own hand, imagining Jiraya's wanton moaning above him. It was when he imagined the cam boy panting his name that Yu came, his back arching, only a hiss of breath coming from him.

He'd learned early on how to be silent when he jacked off, and how to minimize the mess, catching most of it in his hand. Unnecessary now, but still useful. He grabbed a napkin from his earlier meal and cleaned his hand, then let himself snooze on the floor.

When he got up and tucked his dick away and zipped his pants, Yu closed the browser and then his laptop. He should start cooking soon. He could watch the sunset while he ate, and then maybe read one of the books he'd brought. Tomorrow he would put away the rest of his clothes and make sure his understated cotton suit was pressed and ready. His new life was going to be amazing, he knew it.

\-----

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> surprise, I can write porn too.
> 
> Many thanks to maskedhero for the beta read!


	2. Meet Your New Neighbor

The Sunday before his first day of work was more hectic than Yu was anticipating. He didn't bring an iron with him, so he ended up having to rush out and get one. The collar of his dress shirts were being especially stubborn, and he didn't think to get starch. There was a good twenty minutes of pure panic as he couldn't find the paperwork he needed to bring to his new boss, and then a wave of exhaustion once he found them. It was only his third day on his own.

His new futon was at least comfortable. It was small, made for only one person, a drastic change from his king sized memory foam mattress in his parent's place. But he liked it. Yu had simple tastes, despite growing up with wine, caviar, and the finest in furnishings, clothes, and food.

Yu scrubbed himself within and inch of his life on Sunday night, setting his clothes out and triple checking his alarm. He was worried that the excitement would keep him from falling asleep, but the peace that came with laying in his own futon in his own apartment helped him sleep soundly and without interruption.

Monday. First day of his new job. Yu ate breakfast and tried to contain his enthusiasm.

The train ride took all of seven minutes. His new boss, whom he'd spoken to over the phone several times, was a short, portly man who radiated energy. He shook Yu's hand and they went over the details of his position.

"I'll be frank, Mister Narukami," he said, shuffling Yu's papers in his hands. "You're actually a bit overqualified with this position, having graduated with such honors from Tokyo U." He dabbed his large, balding forehead with a hand towel. "May I ask why you took this position?"

A bit of worry prickled at the back of Yu's neck, but he gave an easy, practiced smile, developed over years of attending his parents' business parties and the like. "Right place, right time, sir. I believe we're all meant for something."

His employer raised his eyebrows, then laughed and nodded. At least all the lessons in etiquette and business manners weren't a total waste.

Yu's job was fairly simple. Management of the business side of Okina Municipal Hospital was straightforward and full of number crunching. He had to write reports, check invoices, send notices to the billing department and track inventory. It may have looked like chaos to some, but he enjoyed this sort of thing. It was like a constantly moving puzzle. The answer was always generally the same, but the pieces would sometimes move on their own.

At the end of the day, Yu went home with an ache in his legs that was actually quite pleasant. He made himself a simple dinner and ate while watching internet videos of cats doing silly things. When he bathed, he indulged and took an extra half an hour to soak, something he never did while living with his parents.

Yu went to bed that night feeling more free than he ever had before.

\-----

Tuesday was more of the same. Yu's coworkers were nice enough. They did their jobs, and that was enough for him, anyway. One of his female coworkers, a woman maybe ten years his senior, seemed especially impressed with his lunch - especially when he said it was just his own leftovers from the night before.

On his way home, he ran into Mrs. Ota, a sweet woman with a rounded face, thick glasses, and a petite bun on the crown of her head. He met her once in the office on Saturday, their introduction brief.

"Oh! Narukami, wasn't it?" She was wiping her hands on an apron around her waist.

"Yes, ma'am," Yu bowed slightly. "How are you?"

"Oh, just fine. How are you adjusting? Do you like Okina so far?"

Her sincerity was refreshing, and Yu didn't have to feign a smile. "Yes, ma'am. It's very nice here."

She clapped her hands together and grinned wide. "I'm so glad! You know, there's a young man about your age that lives on this floor. Have you met him?"

That got Yu's attention. "No, I haven't. But I'm sure we'll run into each other."

He bid Mrs. Ota goodbye and went into his apartment. Yu was so happy, a completely new feeling. It bubbled through his chest as he hung up his suit, changed into sweatpants and a plain shirt, and ruffled out his hair. He thawed a serving of frozen udon noodles and cut up carrots, green onion, mushrooms and some chicken thighs. He could make the recipe more extravagant, but he was still starting out, and after his new furniture and rent payment, he had to be careful to conserve his savings. The checks he'd gotten for graduation would only take him so far, and Yu hadn't gotten a paycheck just yet.

While his udon was still too hot to eat, Yu hooked up his small TV and set it up on the box it came in. He'd need a stand eventually. He found the local news and watched it, catching up on the weather, politics, and some small events. Once he was more settled, he fully planned on making Okina his home, and wanted to get involved in the community - something his parents had always insisted was a worthless endeavor.

It was approaching eleven, and it was almost time for Yu's favorite stream. He'd missed so many over the last three months, too preoccupied with finishing college and final preparations for his move. But tonight, he could not only watch Jiraya in peace, but he didn't have to worry about anyone finding out. No more need to burn his browser history, no more hiding.

Yu set up his laptop next to his futon, making sure to put the box of tissues nearby. It felt a little pathetic to be looking forward to porn this much, but he couldn't help but be attached. The Midnight Channel had helped Yu discover so much, uncover so many buried secrets and kinks. He knew himself better now. Sure, it was in a strictly sexual sense, but that still mattered, right?

The chat was already lively when he logged in. Jiraya had made a few comments himself, mostly 'starting soon!' and the like. Yu took a sip from his water and set it aside, plugging in his headphones and turning up the volume. He said hello to a few screen names he recognized.

With a blip the stream began. Jiraya's face was close to the camera, with his eerie yellow eyes and bold makeup. He smiled, definitely wearing some form of lipstick, and bared his teeth.

"Hello, lovelies," Jiraya purred. Oh, Yu had missed that voice, young but sultry. "How is everyone tonight?"

The chat lit up. Yu typed out _'excellent now that you're here.'_ if Jiraya saw his comment, he didn't mention it, and went on with his stream.

"I'm so glad you're all here. I got something nice today, and I wanted to show it off." With a little kiss, Jiraya leaned back, moving his face away from the camera so the rest of his body was visible. Yu gasped. He was wearing a white tank top, red booty shorts, and, _fuck,_ thigh high stockings. They were black and sheer, with lace at the top that hugged his perfect thighs, a little squish of soft skin just above them. It sent a bolt of arousal straight to Yu's dick.

Jiraya crossed his legs, showing off the stockings. "So what do you think? Do they suit me? They feel so nice." Jiraya made a show of rubbing his legs together, then feeling himself up, starting at the ankles. Damn.

_'Wish I could feel them too,'_ Yu typed. It didn't feel too invasive, given that it was the sort of thing that was common in the stream chat, and Yu knew where the line was. Several other subscribers agreed with him.

"You know, I almost couldn't decide if I should get them." Jiraya brought a knee to his chest and rested his cheek on it, a timid gesture. Yu loved it when he acted that way, demure and innocent before things got raunchy. Jiraya stretched one of his legs up, parallel to his chest and holy shit, he was _flexible._

"Should I keep them on?"

Yu typed several furious affirmations into the chat window.

The stream was incredible, and it hit so many of Yu's fetishes. Clothing, check. Legs, check. Dirty talk, check and _check._ And he couldn't help but notice how much he was staring at Jiraya's mouth, shining with gloss as he spoke, gasped, bit at his lips. Maybe he had a mouth fixation, too.

The booty shorts came off after fifteen minutes, but the tank top and stockings stayed on. There were no toys tonight, just Jiraya's hands, long, deft fingers touching himself. And not just his cock, Jiraya touched himself everywhere, giving extra attention to his nipples and the insides of his thighs, whimpering as the sensitive skin turned red at the attention.

Eventually Jiraya had the hem of the tank top between his teeth, finally done with the nearly forty five minutes of edging and teasing. Now he was stroking his cock with purpose, groaning and gasping around the fabric in his mouth. His other hand was behind him, fingering himself.

Yu was doing the same, reveling in the thick, wet sounds in his headphones. It felt amazing to not have to worry about being totally silent. No one was going to burst down his door. Of course, he still kept mostly quiet. He didn't have his parents around, but he still had neighbors, and didn't want to be rude.

There was a high pitched whine, and Jiraya was coming, releasing the tank top from his teeth to pant open-mouthed, his cock pulsing in his palm as his chest and stomach heaved with his breath. Jiraya always came a lot, splattering on his hands and wrists and all over the sheet below him.

Yu let himself come then too, having pulled down his pants about halfway through the stream, throwing his head back to moan softly. It was intense, toe-curling, and enough to make his vision waver just a bit.

When he looked back at the screen, Jiraya was grinning, bringing his wet hand to his mouth and licking some of the come off his fingers. And _fucking hell,_ if Yu hadn't already finished, that would've done it. He made a mental note to add another kink to his growing list.

"That was nice, wasn't it?" Jiraya's voice was airy, his breathing still a bit labored. He ran his hands down his legs, smearing semen over the stockings in a way that made Yu groan.

"Thanks for joining me, everyone. Take care, and I'll see you next week." With that he made his okay sign and winked with his right eye. A moment later, a hand came near the camera, and the stream went black.

Yu cleaned himself up with the tissues he'd remembered to put next to the futon, then sagged against the wall behind him. He'd really needed that. The last few weeks had been nothing but anxiety with almost no chances for release of any kind. Yu said a quick goodnight to the chat, as he tended to do (out of a sense of camaraderie, maybe), closed the browser, and shut his laptop down.

He checked the lock on the door, brushed his teeth, and tucked into bed. He set his alarm for a half hour earlier than normal so he could bathe in the morning before work. As soon as his head hit the pillow he was gone, drifting away in a wonderful, floaty haze.

\-----

The rest of the week went smoothly, Yu quickly adjusting to his new schedule. Compared to the last ten years of his life, it was a cake walk - the only things he had to worry about any more were being on time to work and paying his bills. Here, there were no dignitaries to impress, no politicians to schmooze with, and for once in his life, no asses to kiss.

At least not the kind of ass kissing he was interested in.

Yu realized that he was now free to start dating if he wanted. He'd never tried before. The closest he could come were the matchmaking meetings that his parents set up. And while most of the girls he met seemed perfectly nice and polite (probably had the same sort of rigid upbringing he did), none of them interested him in the slightest. He knew why, now. Yu hoped those girls were doing okay, hoped that their parents weren't as awful as his. He wouldn't wish his almost-fate on anyone.

On Saturday morning, Yu let himself sleep in a little, waking up to rays of morning sunshine on the floor beside his futon. He curled into the blanket, almost overwhelmed with how content he felt.

Today the weather was clear, a perfect day to explore Okina. Yu made himself some toast and eggs, and ate while watching the news. At eleven, he had his casual clothes on, wallet, phone, and keys in his pocket, and went to leave.

Right as he was exiting his door, a figure came barreling towards his right side. They collided, and Yu was sent sprawling back inside his apartment, landing on his rear. From the sound of things, the other person had also been sent to the floor from the impact.

"Ow, shit." The voice from the hall was young. There was some scuffling, then a panicked squawk.

"Oh my god, I'm so sorry! Are you okay?"

Picking himself up off the floor, Yu rubbed at his lower back. "Yes, I'm alright."

A hand was thrust in front of his face. "Here," said whoever had crashed into him. Yu's eyes raked up the arm to the face of the person, and his eyebrows went up into his hair.

Big brown puppy eyes that sat behind a pair of orange framed glasses, cheeks dotted with freckles, wild chestnut hair and a perfect button nose. It was a boy, or a young man, tall, dressed in a baggy hoodie, faded jeans, and worn red sneakers. He was bending over with his right arm stretched out.

"Let me help you up," the stranger said, breaking Yu out of his trance. He took the hand that was offered and let himself be hauled to his feet. Whoever this guy was, he was also _strong,_ pulling Yu up with little effort.

There was a moment, after Yu was standing, that they just stayed there, still holding each other's hands. Yu got lost in those brown eyes for just a second, such a nice shade, surrounded by full lashes and eyebrows that were much darker than his hair. The other man was just a hair shorter than Yu, staring back, unblinking, his mouth slightly open.

Then a blink, and the spell broke, and the guy that knocked him on his ass backed up and bowed deep.

"I'm so, so sorry," he apologized again. "I wasn't paying attention!"

Yu wanted to laugh. "It's okay, really." He turned around and reached for his door, going in his pocket for his keys. "Accidents happen."

Straightening up, the brown eyed boy sighed in relief. "Yeah, still." He watched Yu lock his door, and his face brightened up. "Hey, you must be my new neighbor!" He stuck out his hand again. "I'm Yosuke Hanamura, I live in 209, right next door to you."

Oh. So this must be the young man that Mrs. Ota had mentioned. Yu took his hand and shook it, Hanamura's palm slightly sweaty against his own.

"Yu Narukami. Nice to meet you."

Hanamura smiled, and it lit his entire face. He really did look like an excited puppy. Then an obnoxious song started playing from somewhere, and Hanamura looked instantly panicked as he pulled a phone from his jeans pocket. "Oh crap, Chie's gonna kill me!" He put the phone back and snatched a backpack from the floor, probably dropped when they collided. "Listen, I gotta scram, but we should hang out or something, yeah?"

"Yeah, sure," Yu said automatically. Hanamura grinned at him again, then bolted for the stairs with a wave.

"See ya!"

Yu watched him go, jogging for the train station, unable to believe his luck. A stable job, a good place to live, a nice city, and even a very, _very_ cute boy living right next door? Surely heaven was smiling on him. There was a spring in his step as he hit the streets to explore, one that didn't fade all day.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so this is incredibly fun to write. I hope you guys are enjoying it as much as I am :}


	3. A Maybe First Date

 For the next week, Yu was only able to catch glimpses of his new neighbor, usually when one of them was leaving and the other was returning. Hanamura always seemed to be in a hurry, trotting away on his long legs towards the train station or elsewhere. They would wave at each other or say hello, and it was always full of warm smiles. One crisp morning, as Yu was leaving for work, he caught Hanamura bent over and tying his shoe by the stairs, wearing a pair of long running shorts and a loose tee shirt. A pair of red and orange headphones were around his neck.

"Good morning," Yu greeted. Hanamura looked up from his shoe, smiled, and stood.

"Morning!" He eyed Yu up and down. "Nice suit. Heading to work?"

Was Hanamura just checking him out? "Yes. And you?"

"Going for a run." Hanamura looked sheepish. "Gotta keep my girlish figure, y'know?"

They walked down the stairs side by side. Yu watched as his neighbor took an mp3 player from his pocket and fiddled with it. There was something vaguely familiar about the way Hanamura moved, his fingers and wrists ringing a bell somewhere in the back of Yu's head. As they neared the street, Hanamura turned to face him.

"Hey, are you free on Saturday?"

Yu knew he was probably blushing and absolutely did not care. "Yes, I think so."

Hanamura beamed at him, his smile bright enough to make Yu's knees go a little weak. "Wanna catch a movie?"

Yu wanted to bounce up and down and squeal. He did not, however. He used his years experience with masking his emotions, put on a casual smile, and nodded. "That sounds fun. Sure."

"Awesome!" Hanamura didn't feel the need to mask his enthusiasm, apparently. "I'll see you at like noon or so? We can just, uh, meet in the hallway."

Yu nodded. "See you then."

"Later!"

Yu watched his neighbor put his headphones over his ears, click a button on his mp3 player, and lightly jog away. Yu watched him go, his nice calves pounding the pavement of the sidewalk.

He had to be the luckiest guy on earth.

\-----

Yu's coworkers commented on his positive demeanor for the rest of the week. He could keep himself in check and not act like a kid on Christmas, but his happiness still bled through his professional persona. Not that it was a bad thing. If Yu didn't know any better, he's say that his joy was contagious, making everyone in his office smile just a little bit more.

He passed his neighbor in the hall on Thursday night, who grinned wide and asked if they were still on for Saturday. Yu agreed, and Hanamura waved at him before ducking into his own apartment.

On Saturday Yu was up early, almost dizzy with excitement. He had to remind himself that he was a grown man and not a school girl.

The thought of school girls reminded him of the last stream he watched. Yu had come in late to find Jiraya dressed up in a schoolgirl outfit, complete with knee socks, sweater vest, and a little red bow around the collar of his blouse. He had an egg vibrator up his ass, the cord fastened to his thigh as he trembled and gasped, pleading for permission to come, his wet cock straining against a pair of thin panties.

Yu mentally ticked off boxes next to _'skirts'_ and _'begging'_ on his fetish list. Damn, the things Jiraya did to him.

He spent probably more time than necessary picking out his clothes for the afternoon, settling on a white polo and brown pants. He brought a light jacket with him, remembering the ridiculous AC in the theater the last time he'd been to see a movie. Which was years ago, a weekend in college when his parents were out of town.

He was ready at 11:45, so he sat in his living room and played with the hem of his pants for another ten minutes. He didn't want to seem too eager. He had just met Hanamura. He didn't even know if the guy was into other guys - there were clues, but Yu told himself not to get his hopes up. It was possible that Hanamura just lacked boundaries. Even if his next door neighbor could only ever be eye candy, that would still be nice.

At five minutes til noon, Yu exited and locked his apartment behind him. A few minutes later, there was some shuffling from behind the door to unit 209. It opened, and Hanamura came out, and _wow._ He was wearing red skinny jeans, grey chucks, and a white v-neck shirt with red and grey trim. Silhouettes of red cranes were on the front, right where it hugged his slender chest. There was a chain that stretched from one of his belt loops to his back pocket, where a tiny bulge of a wallet sat against his rear. And, from what Yu could now see thanks to the skinny jeans, it was a very nice rear.

"Hey!" Hanamura turned his key in his door, then closed the distance between them. "Ready to go?"

"Yes," Yu shifted his jacket from one arm to the other. "Did you have a movie in mind?"

As they walked to the train stop, Hanamura carried the conversation. "Yeah! Dumminator 3. It was in theaters two years ago, but they're doing a reshowing. It's an action flick - really over the top, almost silly, haha. But it's still fun to watch."

He went on about a few scenes. When Yu admitted he never saw the first two Dumminator movies, Hanamura gave him a quick summary of the plot.

"Not that the plot matters. The movie is fun because of the car chases and stunts."

They arrived at Okina station and went down the escalator to 30 Frame theater. Yu purchased his own ticket and concessions, settling on a large popcorn and a lemon soda. Hanamura loaded up on popcorn, candy, and a giant red slushie.

"I thought you were watching your girlish figure?" Yu said as they went to find seats. Hanamura gaped at him, then burst into giggles.

"Don't come between a man and his gummy worms," he said, shaking the box. Yu smiled and relaxed in his seat as the lights dimmed and the previews began.

The movie was incredibly absurd, but it was fun, as Hanamura had promised. Yu was glad he brought his jacket - the theater was indeed cold, and he spent the last half of the movie with it draped over his shoulders. Hanamura looked a little chilly as well, rubbing his hands up and down his arms a few times. Yu briefly fantasized about putting an arm around his shoulders and pulling him closer. He watched the reflection of the movie in Hanamura's glasses a few times, trying to be discreet about his staring.

When the movie was over and their popcorn bags were finally emptied, Hanamura led Yu out of the theater, chattering non stop. He seemed to be naturally talkative, carrying their conversations with ease, bounding from topic to topic. Despite being full of candy and soda, they both found themselves craving actual food, and took a detour for pork bowls a few blocks from the station.

Hanamura, it seemed, had a hollow leg. He'd had almost twice as much junk food as Yu, but was still slamming down a pork cutlet and rice with gusto. The guy must've had the metabolism of a marathon runner.

"So," Hanamura began once his rice was dwindling. "Where are you from?"

Yu took a sip of tea to wash down his rice. "Tokyo. I just moved here for work."

"Cool! I'm originally from the city, too. My family moved to a small town about an hour from here when I was in high school."

The conversation continued. Hanamura seemed impressed that Yu worked at the hospital, though Yu assured him it wasn't anything special.

"What do you do, Hanamura?" Yu asked, pushing his empty pork bowl aside. His neighbor rubbed the back of his neck and flushed slightly.

"Oh dude, no need to be formal. Just call me Yosuke, okay? I work from home, I'm an admin of a subscription based online music service."

"That sounds fun, Yosuke," Yu answered, enjoying how the name rolled off his tongue. "You can call me Yu."

So Yosuke did, still talking about all manner of things. Yu loved the way Yosuke said his name, sort of breathy, maybe even a little reverent. They milled about until the next train arrived, then boarded. Clouds had been gathering all afternoon, and naturally, as soon as they stepped off at their stop, the sky opened up and a downpour began.

Yu and Yosuke ran for their apartment building, laughing, Yu holding his flimsy jacket of his head. It did little to help, and by the time they were safely inside the hallway of the second floor, they were both drenched. Yu looked at Yosuke, his fluffy hair now plastered to his face and neck with rain, his shirt clinging to him even more. Yu tried without success to not stare, but if he didn't know any better, he'd say that Yosuke was staring as well, eyes scanning down the front of his soaked white polo.

Yosuke snapped out of his trance and smiled up at Yu. "We should hang out more."

Some of the water from Yu's hair ran down his face as he nodded. "Yes, this was fun."

Yosuke went to adjust his glasses on his nose, then frowned. They were so spotted with rain, he probably couldn't see much out of them. He slid the glasses from his face and shook out his hair, the locked eyes with Yu.

"We should go clean up before we catch colds," he said after a long moment, his voice just a little quieter.

"Yeah."

Yu could have stood there and stared at Yosuke for hours, his youthful face and freckles and big brown eyes. But he felt himself shiver, and knew his neighbor was right.

"Well, I'll see you around." Yosuke winked with his right eye, then turned, took out his keys, and went inside his own apartment.

Yu didn't unlock his own door for at least another thirty seconds, high as a kite from Yosuke's attention. If he was reading the signs right, this guy might actually be interested. And that would be the perfect addition to Yu's already incredible new life. The word "boyfriend" floated through his mind like a bubble.

He closed his door and removed his shoes, peeling out of his wet shirt. Yosuke was beyond cute. He was personable and funny and had those great legs and such a pretty face, winking at Yu, just like --

Yu stopped dead.

He'd seen that wink before. 

But there was no way. Yu had to put a hand on the wall to his right to steady himself. There was _no fucking way._ Right? What would even be the odds?

Leaving his wet clothes on the bathroom floor and putting on dry pajamas, Yu opened his laptop. His cursor hovered over the bookmark for at least a minute before he clicked, opening the link to the Midnight Channel. He brought up the still images that Jiraya had posted, obscene as could be, and zoomed in. Studied them. The cut of his jaw, the curve of his eyebrow, the pronunciation of his adam's apple. His lips and nose. Yu found the photo where Jiraya was winking, and instantly felt a sick chill run through him.

It was the same. Despite all the eye makeup and yellow contacts and other differences, it looked exactly the same as the wink that Yosuke had given him in the hallway.

It was perverse and hilarious and horrifying all at once.

Yu had somehow managed to become next door neighbors with a cam boy, one that he'd masturbated to god knows how many times. Seen him pant, moan, and scream while he fucked himself with toys or jacked off or a million other crude acts. Sweet, pure, bubbly Yosuke was actually a _porn star._

Closing his laptop, Yu sat in shock on his futon until dark.


	4. An Unpleasant Realization

Yu did not sleep much that night.

He alternated between staring at his ceiling, tossing and turning, and pacing to the kitchen and back. There was a tiny part of him that wanted to be thrilled. He was living next to the hottest thing he'd ever seen. And not only was Jiraya hot as hell, but Yosuke, he'd discovered, was amazing on his own.

But was it real? Was he reading too much into it? Jiraya the cam boy was obviously a real person who existed somewhere. Didn't it stand to reason that he could be Yosuke, just as much as he could be anyone? But if that was the case, then Yu was intruding on his life. Jiraya wore contacts and heavy makeup and never recorded his streams. Maybe he did that so he couldn't be found, so that when he wasn't in front of the camera, he could live a normal life.

Yu felt sick with guilt. It wasn't until the sun was ready to rise that he finally fell into a restless sleep.

\-----

Sometime in the early afternoon, Yu awoke. It was Sunday, and he needed to get groceries for the week. With a grunt he hauled himself out of his futon, his neck and back sore, to bathe and dress.

As he was putting on his shoes, he could hear footsteps outside, and the sound of someone talking to themselves. Or singing? It was close by. Quietly and carefully, Yu opened his door and peered outside.

In front of his own apartment door, Yosuke was apparently dancing to himself, bobbing his shoulders and head along to a beat that Yu couldn't hear, likely coming from the headphones over his ears. He was whispering what were probably song lyrics, taking his time to search through the messenger bag on his shoulder. Yu took a step out of his door, smiling.

Yosuke fished his keys from the depths of his bag and held them up triumphantly. He must've caught Yu out of the corner of his eye, because then his dancing stopped and he turned. Yosuke locked eyes with Yu and proceeded to turn a rather fetching shade of pink.

Unable to stop the chuckle, Yu leaned against the door frame as Yosuke scrambled to pull his headphones down. His neighbor rubbed at the back of his head, ruffling his already fluffy hair, looking incredibly sheepish.

"S-sorry," Yosuke grinned shyly. "You caught me."

Yu nodded, pulling his door shut and locking it. "Good song?"

"Yeah," Yosuke was gripping the strap on his bag, his ears gaining color. "A favorite of mine."

Yu turned to leave, not wanting to make Yosuke any more embarrassed than he already seemed. "You should let me hear it sometime," he called over his shoulder as he headed down the hallway.

On his way to the supermarket, Yu played the scene over and over in his head. Yosuke had looked completely adorable dancing by his door, gangly limbs moving with the quiet confidence of someone who thought they were alone. He was reminding Yu of a puppy more every day. Then he thought of the realization he'd had the night before, and began to second guess it.

Could the sweet goofball next door really be a cam boy? Yu was having trouble putting the image together in his head, and eventually reasoned that no, it couldn't be. Yosuke was just a doppelganger for someone else. Yu knew of the old tale, that everyone in the world had a double somewhere. He was sure there was one of his own out there as well. And that's all there was to it.

Yu did his grocery shopping with a smile on his face.

\-----

Monday went by quickly. On Tuesday night Yu was settling in to watch the Midnight Channel. He still felt a tiny bit guilty, getting off to someone that looked like the cute boy next door, but he dismissed the worry. He could tell fantasy from reality. And maybe, just maybe, he could look forward to a future of having a real live person to be with him instead of porn.

The stream started, and Jiraya smiled for the camera. He wasn't wearing any lip gloss tonight, just his porcelain skin and bold eyes. He was wearing a red flannel shirt, the front buttons undone to show his naked body beneath.

"Hello everyone. I hope you're all well tonight."

The chat began responding. Yu held off this time, choosing to just watch as Jiraya continued.

"I think I'll try something I haven't done in a long time," Jiraya drawled, ghosting his hands over his chest. "It's a little tricky, so I'm nervous. But I have all of you with me, so I think I'll be okay."

It was almost sweet the way he talked to his audience, as if they were old friends and not a bunch of (probably) lonely perverts on their computers. Jiraya reached off camera and came back with two dildos, one in each hand, one bright pink and the other a hideous camo green. Yu felt a thrill run down his spine, he knew where this was going.

"Do you think I can take them both? I've done it before, but..." Jiraya bit his lip as the chat window began scrolling at light speed.

The cam boy took the pink dildo, the smaller of the two, and set it on the cushion below him. He started with his fingers, opening himself up. His hand wasn't entirely visible, hidden behind his balls from how he was sitting, but it was still hot to watch the way his stomach quivered. Though he was acting timid, there was a practiced ease to the way he slathered the dildo with lube and moved to kneel over it, lowering himself slowly. Yu kept his gaze on Jiraya's face, his breath hitching, biting his lip, his eyes rolling back every so often. When he was fully seated on the toy, he looked back up at the camera, panting a little.

"Oh, that's nice," he said breathlessly. Jiraya wiggled his hips, soft sounds escaping him as his cock began to stiffen. He crossed his feet over the balls of the dildo to hold it in place, and began to gently raise himself up, then back down, slowly, sighing. Jiraya was starting to form a leisurely rhythm, his hands stroking at the insides of his thighs.

"Mm," he hummed, licking his lips. "I think I want some more. What do you all say?"

Yu was nodding at his screen, petting his dick through his pants.

Picking up the green camo dildo that he'd set aside, Jiraya grinned at the camera. "This one's my favorite, you know." He gave the head of it a lick. "Been a long time since I've felt it down my throat."

Jiraya began licking more at the toy, taking the head in his mouth, swirling it with his tongue. It made Yu groan out loud to see it; it may have been a dildo, but it was clear that Jiraya knew how to suck a dick, and it was so, so easy for Yu to imagine that it was _his_ dick getting that treatment. Jiraya began moving his hips again, gently pumping himself down on the pink toy while taking more of the green one in his mouth. He moaned around it, hands skimming up to pinch his nipples.

Yu had to wonder how that felt, getting fucked and sucking a cock at the same time. He shuddered, remembering the few times he'd dared to use his fingers inside himself. It had been both weird and intense, overwhelming and also not quite enough. He wanted to right now, but he didn't have any lube, so he settled for sticking two of his fingers in his mouth. He listened to Jiraya's moans and let the fantasy form, imagining a cock on his tongue instead of bony fingers. Maybe Jiraya's.

Maybe Yosuke's.

Yu didn't know if he was into giving blowjobs, never having the opportunity to try (or anyone to try it with that he trusted enough). But he sort of wanted to find out, find out if the way Jiraya was moaning around the dildo as he slid it further and further back was real.

Jiraya was bouncing on the pink dildo while he'd taken to shoving the green one in his mouth with vigor, his muffled moans making Yu finally unbutton his fly. It was almost too much, Jiraya's hand finally going to stroke his own cock. The cam boy took a deep breath, stilled himself, and pushed the green dildo down his throat until the balls were resting against his chin, his head turned a little to show off that he'd taken it all.

Smothering a moan against the fingers in his mouth, Yu shuddered all over. He could almost see the way the toy made Jiraya's throat bulge, muscles working and adam's apple bobbing as he swallowed around it. Fuck.

Yu was getting close. Jiraya was moving again, fucking himself down on one toy as he deep throated the other. Sliding the dildo from his throat, Jiraya took a few gulping breaths as a few tears leaked out of his eyes, smearing his eye makeup. A line of saliva trailed from the toy to his mouth and that really, _really_ shouldn't have been as hot as it was. He didn't look fazed at all, however, and dove right back in as soon as he'd caught his breath. The shirt he was wearing was drooping from his shoulders, pooling around his upper arms. Chest flushed and heaving, legs shaking. It was an image Yu would replay in his head whenever he needed to get off for years to come.

Jiraya's moans were becoming fervent, skin shining with sweat as he was springing up and down on the pink dildo, sucking on the other as drool dripped down his chin, tugging at his wet cock. His eyes screwed shut, then flew open as he came, the green dildo was yanked from his mouth with a wet pop. Jiraya had to lean forward and steady himself with his other hand on his thigh, dropping the saliva-slicked toy. He came hard, splashing semen all the way up to his collarbone, gasping and panting.

Then Yu came, sucking on his fingers, his whole body twitching and shuddering. When his room stopped spinning, Yu looked up to see Jiraya leaning heavily to one side as he panted for air. The pink dildo was on the cushion beside him. After a minute or so his breathing evened out and he turned back to the camera, wiping the drool from his chin with the back of his hand.

"That... that was so good," Jiraya's voice was hoarse and strained. "I hope you all liked it as much as I did." He gave his okay sign and winked, making Yu's breath catch in his throat. He saw Yosuke in that wink, and couldn't stop the sour guilt that wormed into his stomach.

Yu logged out and closed his browser. He'd gotten come all over his shirt this time, too turned on to pay attention to what he was doing. He carefully took it off and wadded it up, wiping off his hands with it before chucking the garment at the laundry basket in the corner.

Door locked and teeth brushed, Yu settled into his sheets. He did feel guilty about it - beating off to Yosuke's double. Maybe this meant it was time for him to give up on the porn and pursue a real person. Nodding to himself, Yu decided on it. He should ask Yosuke to hang out again this weekend. Maybe out to lunch. Content with himself, Yu fell asleep.

\-----

Yu woke up even earlier than his alarm, feeling rested. He took his time bathing and eating breakfast, which was a bit of leftover rice and soup. As he was leaving his apartment, he heard Yosuke's door open, and turned to see his neighbor coming out into the hallway. He was wearing his usual jeans and tee shirt fare, his messenger bag on his shoulder and headphones around his neck.

"Good morning," Yu called, locking his door. Yosuke smiled at him as he did the same.

"Morning," Yosuke croaked. He sounded awful, his voice haggard and gruff.

Yu felt his skin flash cold. "You okay?" He asked carefully. "You don't sound well."

Yosuke rubbed at his throat with the back of his hand, smiling sheepishly. "I may have caught a cold," he said innocently, apologetic eyes shining behind his glasses. His voice was so dry and thick, almost gurgling, like...

Like he'd been shoving a plastic phallus down his throat.

Oh. _Oh fuck._

Dread was pooling in Yu's gut, his mind stuttering. "You..." He had to swallow, tasting bile. "You should get some medicine, then."

"I will," Yosuke rasped. "Catch you later." He walked away from Yu, towards the other stairwell, and Yu watched closely. Yosuke's steps were guarded, stiff, like it hurt to move.

Yu had to steady himself on the door frame. He couldn't pretend anymore that it was Yosuke's double he'd seen last night, or that those wanton moans belonged to someone else.

He'd moved in next to Jiraya.

A porn star. His _favorite_ porn star.

Yu's head thumped against his door as he cursed his luck enough times to make him late for work.


	5. Dinner

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> buckle in for a few short chapters without porn. Damn my need for plot.

Yu did his best to focus at work. He managed to get his work done, but everyone could see that he was distracted and jittery. He told his supervisor that he wasn't feeling well and promised to rest.

As he trudged home from the train, Yu went over his options. He didn't have many, honestly. He could pretend he didn't know; he could stop talking to Yosuke (the most unpleasant option); or he could move.

Moving wasn't really an option, either. If he broke his lease now, Yu would forfeit his deposit. He couldn't really afford to do that. His savings was still recovering from the move an all related expenses, and it would be at least another few months before he'd have enough put away to comfortably make such a drastic change.

Furthermore, he didn't want to move. He liked this apartment. It was close to work, to the supermarket, and only a short train ride from downtown. He'd grown attached to the yellow spots on the wall, the cracked tiles in the bathroom, and the worn tatami of the living space. He'd grown attached to Yosuke, seeing him in the hallways, chatting before and after work.

For now, he was stuck. And with Yosuke still next door, he'd just have to do his best to feign ignorance.

\-----

By Friday, Yu was exhausted, both from work and the mental and emotional gymnastics he'd been doing since Wednesday morning. He'd managed to still smile at Yosuke when he saw him around the building, but every time his neighbor would flash him that sweet grin, it sent Yu's pulse racing.

Stripping out of his suit jacket and trading his trousers for a pair of well worn jeans, Yu went for the kitchen to begin preparing what had become a Friday ritual: curry. He'd found out in high school that most families ate curry several times a month, but he'd never had it growing up. His parents always looked down on the dish, like they did most things.

Carrots, onions, potatoes, beef. He didn't just like eating curry, he enjoyed making it. It was a multi-step process that required him to focus, but it was relaxing. Brown the meat, cut the vegetables, prepare the roux. The rhythmic _clack-clack_ of the knife on the cutting board helped him wind down, give him closure for the week.

Once everything was in place and the curry just needed time to simmer, Yu checked his fridge. All he had to drink was water or buckwheat tea, and neither sounded appealing. He considered his options for a moment before closing the fridge, shutting off the two burner stove, and grabbing his keys.

The vending machines near the mail boxes had a fair variety. Yu settled on a Natural, digging the coins from his pocket. Jogging back to his building to finish cooking dinner, Yu went inside to find Yosuke at the door to apartment 209.

"Hey!" he called to Yu, pushing up his glasses.

Yu could feel his blood pressure spike. "Hey," he replied, gripping his soda can.

"I don't know about you," Yosuke continued immediately, oblivious to Yu's discomfort, "but I'm ready for the weekend."

Yu laughed, trying not to let it sound strained. "Yes, it's been a long week."

As Yosuke unlocked his door, he stuck his nose in the air and inhaled loudly. "Man, Mrs. Ota must be cooking again. This place always smells amazing on Fridays."

"Oh," Yu perked up. "I was cooking, actually."

Yosuke's face came alight as he almost dropped his keys. "Oh jeeze, really? That's amazing! I can't cook at all, I gotta hit my parent's house if I want a home cooked meal, haha."

Maybe it was the way Yosuke grinned at him. Maybe it was the thought of eating alone again. Or maybe, after days of stress dreams and frayed nerves, Yu was finally losing his mind. But whatever it was, his mouth was moving before his brain could tell it to stop.

"Do you want to come in and eat with me?"

Even though he was now internally screaming at himself for asking, it was worth it for the look on Yosuke's face.

"Seriously? Wow, that would be great! But, uh," Yosuke ducked his head. "Can you give me a bit? I've been running around all day and I could use a shower."

"Sure," Yu told him, and watched Yosuke disappear through his door.

Back in his own apartment, Yu put down his soda and scrubbed a hand down his face. He wanted to ask himself what on earth possessed him to invite Yosuke over, but he knew exactly what had. Freckles, big brown eyes, and a smile that positively sparkled. Groaning, Yu resigned to his fate and went to turn the stove back on and prepare the rice cooker, stashing his soda in the fridge.

His first thought after that was to tidy up, but his apartment was still so sparsely furnished that there wasn't anything to clean. The living area was still just one rug, one table, a TV, and one cushion.

Yu put on the news and tried not to panic.

A good fifteen minutes later there were three taps at his door. Yu took a steadying breath and got up to answer, pondering the best way to end the dinner as quickly as possible.

All his ideas vanished as soon as Yu opened the door. Yosuke was waiting for him, dressed in a long sleeve v-neck shirt that showed off his collarbone and a pair of tan skinny jeans. His hair was still damp and smelled of oranges, and he was smiling up at Yu, a smile that went all the way to his eyes.

"Here," he said, holding up two bottles. "I brought some Tap."

Yu managed to unstick his brain. "Come in."

Yosuke hadn't even bothered to lace his shoes and slipped them off. Yu could tell his neighbor was hesitant as he stepped into the living space, and he gestured to the one cushion.

"Make yourself at home," his response was slightly canned. "The rice still needs a few minutes."

Yosuke sat as where he was directed, and offered Yu one of the bottles, wet with condensation. "Settling in okay?" he asked, opening his soda.

Yu set his drink aside. The connotation wasn't lost on him, the nearly empty room and bare walls spoke of someone who'd either just moved, or had zero sense of style. "I haven't had much time to decorate," he said.

Yosuke laughed then, and it was such a nice sound that it calmed Yu's nerves. "That's cool," Yosuke said, taking a sip of his drink. "You'll accumulate stuff over time, trust me. My apartment is crazy cluttered, and I've only live in it for like a year."

Yosuke had a never-ending supply of topics for light conversation. It put Yu at ease, helped him forget the awkwardness of knowing what this sweet young man really did for a living. The rice cooker beeped, and Yu went to the kitchen to serve two plates. As he spooned curry onto a second plate, it occurred to Yu that this was his very first house guest. A little thrill went through him as he put a few extra pieces of beef on the plate.

He thought he could see Yosuke salivating as he brought the plates out. "I don't have any pickles for garnish," Yu apologized. Yosuke didn't seem bothered at all.

"Holy crap, this is so good," he praised with a mouth half full. "What kind of mix do you use?"

"I don't use a mix," Yu answered. "I make it from scratch."

He could almost hear the record scratch in Yosuke's expression. "Seriously?" He looked at the curry, and then back to Yu. "That's amazing, man. You're amazing."

Yu couldn't help but smile, his cheeks warm.

Eating didn't deter Yosuke from talking in the slightest. The mood between them was so easy and light, just like it had been when they saw a movie together. Yu found out Yosuke was from Tokyo, like himself, but went to high school in a small neighboring town. He also learned that Yosuke loved music, action movies, and sour candy. Yu leaned back from his empty plate and listened to Yosuke talk about his many years of retail work at the department store his parents managed.

"Damn, I'm stuffed," Yosuke put a hand on his stomach. "That was delicious, thanks."

"No problem." Yu took the plates back to the kitchen and left them in the sink in favor of making two cups of tea and rejoining Yosuke at the table.

"Thanks," Yosuke took his cup of tea. The silence was comfortable as they drank, though Yu wouldn't mind it being filled with Yosuke's voice.

"Hey," Yosuke began, his tone softer than it was before. "You know that town I mentioned, where I went to high school? I'm making a trip there on Sunday to see my parents and friends. Would you, uh. Want to come with?"

Yu blinked. "That sounds alright," he answered, though the voice in his head disagreed.

"Really?" Yosuke sounded excited. "Cool! It's a small town and there's not much there, but it's got a quiet charm. I'm probably gonna catch the 10 a.m. train on Sunday morning, that sound good?"

"Yes, that sounds fine."

They chatted a bit more before Yosuke went for his shoes, only slipping them on and letting his heels hang out the back.

"Thanks again for dinner." Yosuke pushed up his glasses and grinned. "I'll treat you to lunch on Sunday, yeah?"

"Sure."

With a wave, Yosuke left, and Yu heard the click of his door a few moments later. All of his anxiety from earlier had completely dissipated, leaving behind a quiet, comfortable hum. He was so unsure what to do about his predicament the day before, but now, it seemed fairly obvious. Yosuke was like a walking ray of sunshine, and there was no way Yu was going to give this up. He could swap Jiraya the cam boy for Yosuke his neighbor. It was so much better to have an actual companion than a feed on his computer screen, anyway.

Making a mental note to do his grocery shopping tomorrow, Yu washed the dishes and turned in for the night, his stomach fluttering.


	6. Inaba

Okina Station, Yu found, was surprisingly empty on Sunday mornings. He met Yosuke and they boarded their train, finding seats with a view of the countryside as it sped by. They sat across from each other, giving Yu a perfect view of Yosuke's legs as he casually crossed them, sitting back in his seat.

"Ever been to Inaba?" Yosuke asked, playing with the charm on his phone.

"Once," He answered. "I have some extended family there."

"Oh cool!" Yosuke sounded genuinely excited. "Maybe you can say hi while we're in town."

Shaking his head, Yu smiled. "I wouldn't know how to contact them. It's been years." Several years, in fact, since he attended a funeral, his uncle's face blank as he held his crying daughter.

Yosuke considered this, tapping his chin. "Well, what's the name? Inaba's really small, I might know them."

It might have been a moot point to try to contact his uncle after all this time. Still, Yu was powerless to resist Yosuke, his smile and laugh cutting through all of Yu's better faculties.

"Dojima," he answered. "I think he's with the police."

At that, Yosuke blanched, his jaw falling open. Yu shot him a glance, and Yosuke flushed. "Yeah, Detective Dojima. I, uh, know him."

"Oh?"

Yosuke curled in on himself, abashed, scratching nervously at his hair. "Yeah. I did some stupid stuff in high school and kind of... got arrested once."

That made Yu blink. Of all the things he might have expected from Yosuke (Tuesday night activities excluded), doing anything bad enough to warrant arrest was not one of them. He was full of surprises. He let it go and the rest of the one hour ride was Yosuke talking about Inaba, his friends, the tiny high school. Yu rested his chin on his knuckles and listened.

Inaba was indeed small, a dusty little town with none of the noise that Yu was accustomed to. He liked it right away, even as Yosuke led him from the train station to a shopping district that had more closed shops than open ones.

They stopped at a small Chinese diner, Yosuke pushing around the groups students towards a table where two young women sat. One of them perked up and waved him over.

"Yosuke!" She called.

Yu had been hoping to get a day with just Yosuke, but once introduced to the two women - Chie and Yukiko were their names - he was glad. He could stand to have more friends than just his coworkers and the boy next door that he was secretly crushing on.

Yukiko and Chie reminded him a bit of Yosuke and himself. Yukiko was demure and reserved, with a gentle smile and agreeable nature that fit her long black hair and knit cardigan. Chie, by comparison, was loud and bright, laughing and talking and pointing as she ate. Yu noted that the two women were close, very close. Close enough that he had a feeling there was more to them than what they were willing to let show in a crowded diner.

He was asked about himself and gave short but friendly answers. Yukiko worked at her family's historic inn, while Chie taught track and field at the local high school. It was so very quaint and real, a kind of realness that he had never experienced under his parent's rule. Yu liked it, the feeling settling in his chest.

After lunch, the four new friends stood outside the diner chatting. Eventually Yosuke had to rush off to say hello to his parents, leaving Yu on his own to explore the tiny town with a promise to meet at the station at five. He visited the shrine and made an offering, awkwardly praying for the peace in his life to continue. He could have sworn he saw a fox lurking about, stealthily creeping around the building, away from the groups of children playing under the trees.

Yu took a stroll by the Samegawa river, where what little noise the town provided faded away, replaced with bubbling water and swaying trees. He had a short conversation with an old man by the bank who loved fishing and offered to teach Yu how. It was very tempting.

At around three he was wandering the streets, enjoying the rustic charm of the houses, clay tile roofs and plaster walls. He came upon a Junes, the department store springing up suddenly, a glaringly new construction amidst the homey atmosphere. It seemed terribly out of place - and, with a grimace, Yu put the pieces together and understood the reason for all the closed shutter doors in the shopping district.

He didn't need anything at a department store, so Yu turned to leave, and stopped short when he noticed a man staring at him.

"Narukami?" The man asked. "Yu Narukami?"

Several tense moments passed before Yu was able to recognize the chin, hair, and eyes. "Uncle," he breathed.

He warily approached his extended family, his uncle stamping out a cigarette. "I thought it was you," Dojima said with an almost smile. "You have your mother's hair. Sort of hard to miss."

"Have you been well?" Yu asked automatically. His uncle nodded.

"For the most part. Here, let's sit. I'm waiting for my daughter."

They found a bench near the entrance to Junes, under the shade of a young tree, and sat.

"What brings you all the way to Inaba?"

The questions were still in safe territory, but his uncle was a detective. "I work at Okina Municipal Hospital now," Yu answered carefully. "I'm here today with a friend."

Dojima nodded. "That's a well respected hospital. I'm happy for you."

Silence stretched. Yu had no idea how to talk to his uncle, a man he barely knew. And more importantly, he didn't know if it was safe to talk to Dojima. He was only two months away from his old life, and Dojima was his mother's only sibling. He didn't know how much guard he needed around this man, but at the same time, he needed the truth. Yu squared his shoulders and took a deep breath.

"Have my parents said anything you?"

Dojima's gaze was piercing as he searched Yu's face. "No," he answered slowly. "Should they have?"

Yu knew he could lie his way out. Years of practice had honed his ability to slip on a mask, pretend to be someone else, worm his way out of nearly any situation. But he was tired from it. One taste of freedom was all Yu needed to never want to live that lie again.

"I've cut contact with them," Yu stated plainly, keeping his voice even.

"Completely?"

Yu bit the inside of his cheek. "Yes."

Dojima was nodding, his eyes on the sidewalk. "I want to be surprised, but I'm not," he admitted. "Your mother and I didn't always agree on how she was raising you."

Yu looked him in the eye then. "And now?"

Dojima shook his head. "You're asking if I'm going to rat you out." The detective stood, taking a pack of cigarettes from his pocket. "I don't see why I would. You're a man now, and that means living your own life."

Yu sagged, the tension bleeding out of his shoulders. He stood to join Dojima, letting out a breath. His eyes prickled.

"Thank you," Yu's voice wavered despite his effort to stabilize it. Dojima nodded at him, reaching for his wallet. He took out a small white card and handed it over.

"I know you don't know me very well, but here." Yu took the card, and Dojima lit another cigarette. "I don't talk to my sister these days. If things fall through or you need a place to go, call me."

There was a lump in Yu's throat as he slipped the card into his pocket. He sniffed as his uncle turned to see a girl in a school uniform come running out of Junes, maybe twelve or thirteen, with pigtails tied in ribbons. His cousin, Nanako; though the last time he saw her, she was just a tiny bundle in her father's arms.

"Come and have dinner with us sometime," Dojima went to the girl, who peered at Yu with shy interest. "Take care of yourself."

Yu watched his uncle go, Nanako looking back at him. Now alone, he let himself indulge in a wet sniffle, tears rolling down his cheeks. He never thought he'd have anyone to turn to one he left his mother and father. Most of his extended family, namely his grandparents, were on his parent's side from day one. He'd been working without a safety net until now, but no more. The card in his pocket felt heavy, flooding him with relief.

One last sniff and Yu wiped his face with his sleeve. He turned back towards the river to get some air. As he rounded the corner of the Junes building, a figure caught his eye.

Yosuke stared at him, wide eyed behind his glasses, his shoulders hunched. He was obviously startled, color flooding his cheeks as he bit his lip. Yu stared back.

"I-I'm sorry!" Yosuke nearly shouted, pressing his palms together in front of his face and bowing deeply. "I didn't mean to eavesdrop, I was here saying hi to my parents and I came out the side entrance and then I heard you and I just - I didn't want to just barge out and... uh..."

Yu exhaled a laugh that maybe had a tiny bit of hysteria behind it. He wiped his face again, still damp.

"It's okay." Yu's voice was more hoarse than he was expecting. "I'm okay."

Yosuke approached him, cautiously, as if Yu would shatter if he made a false step. "You sure?"

Yu nodded, and it was the truth. Yosuke took another step forward.

"Parents, huh?" Yosuke's voice was quiet, full of sympathy and warmth. "Was it bad?"

He didn't even know where to start, so Yu just nodded, one last tear slipping past his defenses. Yosuke searched his messenger bag and pulled out a packet of tissues, offering it up.

"Hey," Yosuke spoke quietly. "Let's get some ice cream or something before we go, yeah?"

Yu agreed and let Yosuke lead him back through the town. His head was pounding and his eyes hurt and his ears rang, but his chest felt light. The solitude that came with his situation had been a whisper in the back of his mind, one that would occasionally gain volume late at night when he couldn't sleep. He could silence it now. Yu had Yosuke, two new friends, and now a family member that he might be able to trust.

Yosuke bought him ice cream as promised, Topcicles, and they ate on the walk back to the train station. Yu had leaned against Yosuke in their seats, just a little, and dreamed about fishing in a quiet river until a hand on his shoulder awoke him at Okina station.

He wanted to think that Yosuke was walking him home, which in a way he was, but not, because they lived in the same place. At Yu's door, Yosuke reached out and gave his bicep a squeeze.

"You know you can come to me if you need anything. Right?"

Yu nodded. His face hurt and he probably looked terrible, but Yosuke was giving him a tiny, gentle smile, and it felt like a soothing balm.

"Let me give you my number," Yosuke said, motioning for Yu's phone. He obeyed and let his neighbor - _friend_ \- enter his contact info.

"There," Yosuke clicked the phone shut and handed it back. "Text me yours, okay?"

Yu pocketed his phone. "I will. Thanks."

"G'night."

"Goodnight, Yosuke."

It was still a bit early to actually go to bed, the late spring sun still hovering above the horizon. It would be hot soon, and Yu would have to buy a fan. He took his time in the bath, slumping down until the water was at his chin, letting the soreness and tension drain away.

The meal he'd eaten in Inaba was so heavy that Yu didn't need much in the way of dinner. While he snacked, he opened his phone to check his contact list and add his uncle's number. He found the new contact, the only one beside work and the landlord. Hanamura Yosuke. Yu read over the characters, a wide smile cracking his face.

_Sunshine._ Youske's name meant sunshine. It was so appropriate that it was almost comical.

Yu curled into his futon. In his dreams, Yosuke was there, a warm arm around his shoulder.

 


	7. A Cat, A Pizza, & A Kiss

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> final chapter count is decided, huehuehue. (there will be more porn, promise.)

Yu didn't think his life could improve any more. His visit to Inaba proved him wrong.

He went to the small town again two weeks later, after a phone call to his uncle. He spent a Saturday afternoon in the Dojima home, a quaint house that showed its age, despite being well cared for. His cousin, Nanako, was a delightful girl, overflowing with a warmth and innocence that Yu could never have claimed to have had. She didn't resemble her father much, except for in her smile.

His uncle was a coarse man, choosing to listen rather than speak and analyzing everything about his nephew, but his temperament was in line with his career. Yu couldn't fault him for it. And it made it that much more special when Dojima would smile, his face brightening and eyes wrinkling at the corners. Nanako seemed able to bring it out of him the most.

Yu left with a happy swell in his heart. Maybe in time, he could call the Dojimas his family. Family was a word that had always carried so much hurt and disdain, a chain on his ankle through his teenage years. At this rate, Yu mused that he could learn to like that word again.

His friendship with Yosuke was also progressing, coming over for dinner two more times at Yu's request. On the second, Yosuke brought a DVD player as a gift, insisting that it was just a floor model from the Junes that his parents managed. They watched a comedy after they ate, Yosuke's laughter filling the apartment in a way that made the paint seem brighter.

Yu came home from work on a sunny Wednesday, stepping up to his building with a contented sigh. He heard a little scuffling, then a small meow, and froze. He peered around the steps, finally spotting a small cat with tortoise shell fur, green eyes, and a notch in its left ear.

Stooping down, Yu held out his hand and clicked his tongue. The little cat eyed him, stretching out its neck, and finally creeping close enough for Yu to stroke at its ears.

Yu had to suppress a delighted squeal as the cat rubbed its face into his hand, purring loudly.

"Her name is Miki."

Yosuke was standing off to the side, his headphones around his neck and his hands in his pockets. He smiled at Yu, giving a little wave.

"The whole apartment sort of takes turns feeding her," he explained, pushing up his glasses and stepping next to Yu.

"She doesn't belong to anyone?"

Yosuke crouched down and stroked Miki's back. "Nah, no pets allowed. But you know Mrs. Ota. She couldn't let an animal go hungry."

Miki began to walk in little circles, rotating herself between Yu and Yosuke's hands, rumbling happily with her tail high in the air. Yu remembered the one time he'd asked his parents if he could have a cat. His request was met with a harsh scolding and ample evidence as to why pets are a waste of time and money. He was eight years old, and it was one of his earliest memories of his parents' passive aggressive cruelty.

"You really like cats, huh?"

Yosuke looked amused, catching Yu in his daydream. He smiled and gave Miki one last scratch under her chin before standing.

"I always wanted one," Yu explained as the little cat trotted away.

"Well, now you sort of have one?" Yosuke offered. They climbed the stairs to the second floor together, stopping in the space between their doors.

"Hey," Yosuke was shifting his weight. "Do you wanna come hang out for a bit? If you're not busy, I mean."

Yu's gaze shifted from Yosuke's face to the door of apartment 209 briefly. He'd never seen the inside of Yosuke's apartment, and couldn't help but be curious about it. "That would be alright."

"Cool!" Brown eyes darted down the front of Yu's suit. "Just knock whenever you're ready, okay?"

Oh, right. He needed to change. "Sure thing."

Once in his own apartment, Yu went for his closet and began overthinking every article of clothing it contained. The jeans were easy enough, but he had no idea what to pair with them. After sifting through every top he owned, Yu settled on a raglan shirt with dark grey sleeves, shaking his head at himself. He wasn't going on a date.

That didn't stop him from brushing his teeth and changing his socks before heading over to knock on Yosuke's door.

His friend was still in the same clothes when he greeted him. Yu stepped in and toed off his shoes, taking in the decor. Yosuke had once commented that his apartment was crowded, and he really wasn't exaggerating. It was full to bursting, the walls lined with shelves that were stacked with CDs, DVDs, figurines and boxed toys. A coffee table that looked like it had been hastily cleared sat in front of a rather large flat screen TV, which was hooked up to at least two different game systems. In the opposite corner, three guitars were propped up on stands, two electric and one acoustic. Next to them was a keyboard on a stand, and several pieces of equipment that Yu could only assume were for music. What free space there was on the walls was crammed with posters for bands, concerts, and movies. It was a lot to take in.

"Sorry," Yosuke's voice cut through Yu's thoughts. "It's a little messy, I know."

Yu only smiled at him. "It suits you," he said, and meant it as a compliment. From the way Yosuke blushed and grinned, he seemed to take it that way.

"Here, have a seat," Yosuke pointed at the cushions by the table. "I'll get us some drinks."

So Yu sat, glancing around as Yosuke went for the kitchen. If this unit was like his own, then Yosuke should have a single bedroom. Maybe that's where he filmed-

Yu almost smacked himself for even attempting that train of thought. Yosuke returned with a soda can in each hand and sat on the other cushion.

"Dr Salt Neo or Orange Smash?" He said, offering up the two drinks.

Yu settled on the Dr Salt as Yosuke turned on the TV, letting the volume sit low on a game show. They began with small talk, but quickly turned to the various items that cluttered Yosuke's tiny living room. There seemed to be a story attached to nearly everything, and Yu listened with great interest, feeling like he was learning some wonderful secret about Yosuke.

"That one," he pointed up to a front-faced DVD on the top shelf, "Got me kicked in the balls in high school. Borrowed it from Chie and cracked the disc. She was _not_ happy."

Yu blinked. "How did you crack the disc?"

"Uh." Yosuke fidgeted. "I crashed my bike and landed face-first in a trash can."

There was a beat of stunned silence, and then Yu was fighting to stifle a laugh. The laughter won out and he dissolved into giggles, Yosuke following suit until they were both bent over the table and laughing.

Eventually the laughter tapered off and Yosuke opened his cell phone to order delivery. Yu tried to pay his share, but he was waved off.

"Cook for me again and we'll call it even."

Dinner ended up being pizza, greasy and covered in pepperoni and black olives. Yosuke decided to put on a movie, a kung fu comedy flick that was as exciting as it was hilarious. They laughed around mouthfuls of mozzarella and garlic crust, Yosuke nearly choking on his soda a few times.

The movie wound down, and Yosuke lowered the volume as the credits rolled. The glint of the guitars in the corner caught Yu's attention again.

"I take it you play?" He asked, gesturing at them. Yosuke nodded.

"Yeah, since high school. I'm mostly self taught."

Yu let one side of his mouth quirk up. "Play something for me?"

Yosuke turned bright pink then, muttering to himself before getting up. He picked up the middle guitar, a thick bodied one with a bright yellow wood grain finish, and sat down with it. He plugged a cord into an amp and powered it on, fiddling with a few of the knobs. He didn't look up at Yu as he pinched a guitar pick between his finger and thumb, and began to play.

It sounded _amazing._ Yosuke was plucking out and strumming notes in a casual rhythm, tapping on the body of the guitar to keep beat. It was slow and somehow bittersweet, Yosuke's fingers moving on the strings with a fluency and freedom that could only come from years of practice. Yosuke looked the part, too, his stance, hair, and everything matching the music. It was mesmerizing.

Yosuke only played for a minute or so, but it was enough to make Yu feel utterly enamored, his chest so brimming with emotion that he felt like he might float away. Yosuke put down the pick and switched off the amp, letting the guitar rest in his lap as he smiled shyly.

"I still need more practice," he said.

Yu let out a long breath, not caring to hide his adoration. "You're incredible."

Hugging the neck of the guitar, Yosuke stared back at Yu over the top of his glasses, his head ducked. "You think so?"

"Yeah."

God, Yu wanted to just _kiss him,_ crawl over and push the guitar away and kiss that mouth and those freckles and never stop. He was about to do just that when a chime went off, startling them both.

Yosuke gently placed the guitar back on its stand and went for his phone, frowning at whatever it displayed.

"It's getting kinda late," he said, standing.

Yu checked his watch and frowned. It _was_ late, late enough that he should probably be going to bed soon. He helped Yosuke tidy up their mess of plates and soda cans, then went to show himself out.

"Hey," a hand on Yu's wrist stopped him at the door, his shoes halfway on. He turned to Yosuke, his neighbor blushing beneath his glasses, close enough for Yu to map the dots on his cheeks.

With a puff of breath that Yu felt, Yosuke leaned in, pressing his lips against Yu's. It was so gentle and light, a ghost of a kiss, hesitant and brief. He could smell Yosuke's skin, his hair, the lingering pizza. Yu couldn't help but freeze up, almost overwhelmed, if a bit amused that the object of his affection beat him to the punch.

Yosuke pulled away, his eyes searching Yu's face. "Was that okay?" He whispered.

Yu's response was to catch Yosuke's bottom lip between his own. He felt Yosuke inhale through his nose, pushing forward to meet him.

They broke apart with a tiny smack, small smiles reflecting in each other's faces. Yosuke exhaled what might have been a nervous laugh as he let Yu's wrist slip out of his hand.

"Thanks for having me," Yu said, the familiar greeting seeming so much heavier now.

"Yeah. We should do this again." Yosuke grinned, letting the hidden meaning come through.

They said goodnight as Yu stepped out into the hallway. The image of Yosuke biting his lip and blushing as he shut the door was one he would treasure.

As he went to bed, Yu had to put a hand on his chest and will his heart to calm down so he could sleep. He was in love, so incredibly _in love,_ so much that his ribs hurt and his eyes were wet. He felt like laughing for no reason, rolling over to snuggle his face against his pillow.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The song I had in mind when I wrote Yosuke's guitar part is "Yellow Ledbetter" by Pearl Jam.


	8. Beach Trip

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wow this is way fluffier than I intended but I'm rolling with it. And now we're back to smut.
> 
> Slight blood warning on the end of this one.

Thursday morning saw Yu to work with a spring in his step. He had to hold himself back to keep from skipping to the train station, still buzzing all over from last night's kiss.

He replayed the scene in his head all day as he worked, managing to stop and daydream of full lips and dotted cheeks only twice. One of his female coworkers, an older woman who was kind but sharp, commented on his demeanor, suggesting that he'd found himself a girl.

"Something like that," Yu replied, taking a little joy at the secret.

On the way home, Yu stopped by a stand selling flowers. Was it too soon? Or would Yosuke be flattered? A bouquet of sunflowers and yellow daisies seemed to smile at him.

Yu walked away. Perhaps later, after he'd asked Yosuke out. Properly. The kiss didn't leave much to interpretation, but Yu liked things to be concrete. The wounds of his past were still tender, and he didn't care to leave things unfinished and open, where they could dissolve and rot when he wasn't looking.

Once home, Yu changed out of his suit and opened his phone. He fulfilled his promise and composed a text to Yosuke, a simple _Hey, this is Yu Narukami, and this is my number._ Clicking his phone shut and going for the fridge, Yu physically jumped when it vibrated in his pocket just a minute later.

_> nice!! hey u at home?_

He furrowed his brows and then laughed. He should have known Yosuke would be the type to rely on internet speak.

_> Yes, just got in. What's up?_

_> u busy sunday? me chie n yukiko are hittin the beach!!_

The beach. Now there was a novel idea. Yu couldn't really say he'd ever been to a beach for just casual fun. Not that 'casual fun' was ever a thing he had at all, not with the way his whole life had to be carefully structured and manicured, not a single activity without some purpose of molding him into whatever robot his parents were aiming for.

_> The beach sounds nice. Should I get a swimsuit?_

_> heck yeah!! waters gonna be cold but w/e haha_

_> I think I can handle it. Text me the details later._

As he gathered eggs and green onions from the fridge, Yu could almost swear he heard a 'woo hoo!' from behind the wall that separated his apartment from Yosuke's.

\-----

On Friday, instead of going home after work, Yu made a trip to a department store in search of a pair of swim trunks. He felt incredibly displaced among the racks of summer clothing, all bright colors and bold patterns, nothing like his closet of understated greys and blues. Lost and anxious, he finally hunted down a saleswoman and asked for help.

She helped him pick out a few to try on, including some that were a bit on the louder side. In the end, it seemed that his typical sense of style won out, and Yu left the store with a pair of dark grey trunks with a white stripe.

Upon returning home, he caught Yosuke in the hallway, locking his door. Yu was more than a little happy that the warmer weather had his neighbor wearing less clothing, namely a wide neck tee, loose jeans, and flip flops. Yosuke grinned wide at Yu, who held up his department store bag triumphantly.

"Got a suit," Yu said. "Do I need anything else?"

Adjusting the strap on his messenger bag, Yosuke grinned. "Nope, that's it! Well, except a towel. Might want to bring one. Yukiko is driving, so we need to catch the 8 a.m. train to Inaba."

Yu blinked. An early train implied that they would be at the beach most of the day. "What about lunch? I can pack something."

He would never get tired of the way Yosuke's face could brighten like that, as if lit from within, his smile and eyes beaming. "Oh man, if you're in charge of food, then this is going to be the best beach trip ever!" He scooted closer, lowering his voice. "Don't tell them I told you, but Yukiko and Chie can't cook to save their lives. If we let them pack lunches, we might die of food poisoning."

"Oh?"

"Yeah," Yosuke laughed. "Remind me some other time to tell you about the dinner incident at high school camp."

Yu exhaled a laugh. Yosuke was full of stories, and he wanted to hear them all.

"I should get going," Yosuke looked at his phone. He made to step around Yu.

Yu's brain was beating out a mantra, _ask him, ask him, ask him._ His hand shot out and clutched a skinny wrist before he even registered the movement. Yosuke stopped short, turning his upper body to face him.

"Hey, um." Yu swallowed loudly, gathering his courage. "After Sunday, would you want to go somewhere with me?"

The side of Yosuke's mouth quirked up in a half smile. "Sure."

"I mean... on a date." The clarification was deafening in the cramped hallway, even though Yu had barely whispered it.

Slowly, gently, Yosuke's wrist shifted in his grip, rotating his hand to press their palms together, lacing his slender fingers with Yu's. Leaning in, Yosuke dropped his voice.

"I'd like that," he spoke, then bit his lip. Yu's chest rose as he drew in a breath, his head beginning to buzz. With a quick glance down each end of the hallway, he leaned in and pressed a quick kiss to Yosuke's smiling mouth.

He could have stood there forever with the way Yosuke was smiling up through his lashes, but they eventually bid each other good night. In his apartment, Yu shed his work suit and ordered takeout, too fluttery to attempt cooking. He wanted to dance, shout, roll around and kick his feet. He settled for staring at Yosuke's name in his phone, stroking the characters with his finger, wiling Sunday to come just a little faster.

\-----

Yu did dance around his kitchen on Saturday as he prepared four bento boxes. Just a little.

Not knowing what everyone would like, he played it safe with fried pork, spinach omelette, seasoned rice, salted sweet potato, and a carrot and broccoli salad. He garnished each bento - made inside disposable containers bought that day - with pickled radish and snap peas. All in all, he was proud of his handiwork, and wrapped up the boxes to store in the fridge. He'd found some lovely naval oranges as well, and chilled they would make a perfect dessert for a hot day.

Meals prepared, Yu carefully packed a small tote bag with his swim trunks, a spare towel, and a change of clothes. He checked the train schedule with Yosuke one last time via text before plugging in his phone and trying to contain his excitement enough to sleep.

Yu wasn't the only one in high spirits, if Yosuke's excited fidgeting on the train to Inaba was any indication. They sat just a little closer on the train than they had before, Yosuke sending Yu bashful glances every so often as they chatted.

The train ride went quickly and they were in Inaba just as the sun was becoming hot. Yukiko and Chie met them at the train station and helped load the lunches into a cooler, which ended up nestled between Yu and Yosuke in the back seat of an economy sedan.

Shichiri Beach was a short drive away down a narrow road that wound through the mountains. The beach itself was incredibly small, barely a half mile's worth of coarse sand for the ocean to lap against. It was also littered with driftwood, rocks, and cracked cement wave breakers. It was far from an ideal beach, but his three companions seemed undeterred by its flaws.

They spread out their towels while Chie dug an umbrella into the sand. Yu took his tote bag to the nearby restrooms to change into his swimsuit. Stepping out into the sunlight in nothing but shorts left him feeling incredibly exposed and vulnerable, a sensation that only ebbed once the others were changed.

It was replaced with an entirely different sentiment as he applied sunscreen to Yosuke's back, face going hot as he tried to focus on anything but the shifting muscle beneath his palms. He knew this body fairly well, having seen it bare countless times, but actually touching it was electrifying. Yosuke had a smattering of freckles at the top of his spine that faded into his hair, and a single dark freckle just below his left shoulder blade that Yu memorized. Once he was finished, Yu got the same treatment, and he knew his ears were red. He could feel the callouses from guitar playing, and didn't miss the way those long fingers dipped against the side of his neck before pulling away.

It was a little satisfying that Yosuke's cheeks were just as pink as his.

Yu couldn't remember the last time he'd had this much fun. Chie had a seemingly endless energy supply, dragging a mesh bag full of balls, inflatable rings, and other beach appropriate toys out of the trunk of Yukiko's car. They had a mock game of volleyball with no net, followed by several strange games that Yu had to guess were of Chie's invention. Yukiko, he discovered, was prone to laughing fits, and their games had to be stopped to accommodate her wheezing more than once.

Once the sun had baked them thoroughly, it was time for a swim, as Yosuke declared. He was the first in the water with a pained yelp, rushing back out with the bottom half of his shorts wet.

"It's freezing! Holy crap!" But there was laughter in his voice as he dropped his glasses on their towels and charged back in.

It was cold, enough to numb Yu's toes, but Yosuke's beckoning smile was enough to make him brave the chill. It took more coaxing to get Chie and Yukiko to come out from the safety of the hot sand, but once they did, a splashing contest ensued, of which Yu couldn't tell the winner. There was dunking, swimming races (Yosuke won by a landslide), and water polo where Yu was certain they were playing against the ocean waves more than anything. He reveled in the squish of the wet sand below his feet and ended up with a mouthful of sea water more than once. It made him feel like a child in the best way, innocent and carefree.

Exhausted and stomachs rumbling, they dried off and retrieved the bento boxes from the cooler. The girls seemed impressed enough to think they were store bought, but Yosuke threw a knowing smirk and puffed out his chest.

"Nope, Yu here made 'em. He's a crazy good cook. Unlike some."

Chie's cheeks went red as she scowled. "Hey! Not all of us can be chefs. I have more important things to focus on, like planning track meets!"

"I made a curry last month," Yukiko piped up. "It was pretty bland, but it didn't taste bad this time!"

Yu smiled at how oddly proud she seemed of that fact. They laughed as they ate. Yu frowned, the sweet potato was a touch over salted, but if any of the others noticed, they didn't say anything. Once they finished, Yu gathered up the empty boxes and passed out the oranges.

"You should know, Yu," Chie raised an eyebrow at him. "Yosuke hates fish."

"And tofu," Yukiko added. "If you put it in anything, he won't eat it."

The two women were glancing at each other with smirks that told Yu they understood more than they were letting on, especially given how Yosuke was now furiously peeling his orange, his cheeks glowing.

They sat and talked about anything and everything. The sun was beginning to sag on the horizon, staining the beach and their skin orange. Yu accompanied Yosuke to a vending machine near the restrooms, and they stood overlooking the beach. Yukiko and Chie sat on the towels in the sand, leaning into each other, gazing out over the water.

"They're together," Yu said quietly. It was more of a statement than a question.

Yosuke coughed, caught by surprise in mid-sip of his soda. He shook his head and smiled.

"Yeah. Have been since the end of high school." He swished his Tap in his can. "How'd you figure it out?"

Yu shrugged. "Takes one to know one, maybe?"

Yosuke's blush in the setting sun was positively radiant.

\-----

They both snoozed on the train ride back, exhausted and pink at the shoulders. At Yu's door, Yosuke kissed him once, then again, more slowly, before retreating to his own apartment.

He bathed and settled into his futon, setting his alarm for work the next day.

Yu dreamed of Yosuke, a misty, hazy dream of walking along a river that shone gold in the sun. Yosuke's laughter was sweet music, like his guitar, perfectly tuned and echoing against the mountains in the distance. Yu took his hand and Yosuke kissed him tenderly, then heated, and their chests met and they tumbled to the grass.

The grass turned to sheets as Yu pressed him down, and Yosuke went willingly, pliant and eager, chanting Yu's name like a poem. Their clothes dissolved as Yu mapped the planes of Yosuke's stomach and hips with his hands, his beautiful body shining beneath him. Yu mashed their bodies together, skin melting and folding together until he was inside Yosuke or maybe Yosuke was inside him and it didn't matter, he still wanted to be closer, have more, Yosuke's deafening gasps in his ear.

It was when Yosuke threw his head back, exposing his long, slender neck that Yu felt a pressure at his shoulder blades, a hot weight that draped itself along his spine. He felt it growl, a low, guttural sound that surrounded him. Tearing his eyes away from Yosuke's blissful face, Yu looked back.

Yellow eyes met him, thick with makeup and long lashes that looked as deadly as the toothy grin. Jiraya smiled and licked Yu's cheek, the action somehow horribly vulgar. A fist closed around the hair at the back of Yu's neck.

"Fuck him," Jiraya ordered. Yu groaned as his hair was pulled. Below him, Yosuke gasped and moaned.

Jiraya pushed forward and it hurt, the intensity, but it was good, the way Yosuke was still squirming desperately below him and Jiraya at his back, holding him by the scruff of his neck and nipping at his shoulder.

"You aren't doing it right," Jiraya's voice sounded distorted. "Like this. He likes it like _this._ "

Then the pressure changed and Yu cried out, it was good, so good, he couldn't stand it, Yosuke's skinny arms wrapping around his chest and pulling him close as they thrust together in an uneven tempo.

"You want this, don't you? So bad." Jiraya's words were like a harsh scolding, making Yu feel tiny and weak, even as Yosuke whimpered prayers in his ear. "You've got him. What are you waiting for? What are you afraid of?"

It was too much. He was going to burn up at this rate, waste away into ash. Jiraya bit his jaw and the blood splattered against the sheets, staining Yosuke's hair.

"Are you afraid of him?" That smile was cruel, too many pointy teeth, shiny with blood. "Or me?"

With a cry and a gasp that caught in his throat, Yu arched off his futon, his spine straining. Then he collapsed, panting and coughing. It took several minutes for his mind to orient itself, recognizing the bedroom, the futon, the window on the opposite wall with the curtain drawn in the darkness.

He sat up and felt the wetness in his underwear, grimacing. Yu shivered, the memory of the dream so close and haunting. He didn't really know what to make of it. He hadn't watched the Midnight Channel in weeks, or any porn at all, for that matter. He thought he'd left it behind.

Uneasy, he changed into a pair of dry boxers and tried without much success to go back to sleep.


	9. Secrets

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it's about time the shit hit the fan, don't'cha think

Monday saw Yu groggy and wrung out. The memory of the nightmare still clung to him, making him jumpy through the day. He tried to rationalize it as nerves, considering he'd finally asked Yosuke out properly. He didn't want to think of it much beyond that.

On Tuesday night, Yu's curiosity got the better of him and he peeked in at the Midnight Channel. As soon as the stream loaded, he regretted it. Yosuke, or rather Jiraya, was in the early stages of a strip tease, dressed in a two piece suit that looked eerily similar to the one Yu wore to work on a regular basis. He was transfixed for a few minutes as Jiraya pulled the tie from around his neck and wound the fabric around one hand, using the other to teasingly pluck at the buttons on his dress shirt.

"I've had such a hard day," he purred. "Help me relax?"

Yu slammed his laptop shut and shoved it away.

After work on Wednesday (after an entire day of trying without success to not picture his neighbor in a suit), Yu met Yosuke in the hallway. He smiled at him, walking to meet halfway to Yosuke's door.

"Hi."

"Hey," Yosuke pushed some of his hair out of his face. It was beginning to grow long, dark where it was closest to the scalp. "What's up?"

Yu shrugged, still in his suit, trying not to let it show how unnerved he was. "Just getting home. You?"

Yosuke mirrored his shrug, smiling up at Yu, and they lapsed into silence. Shifting his weight from one foot to the other, Yu found his voice again.

"Do you want to go out this Saturday? We can see a movie, if you'd like."

A wide grin, and Yosuke nodded. "Sunday might be a little better for me, but a movie sounds great."

"Okay."

Yosuke stepped forward and kissed him on the cheek. "I'll look up movie times and let you know," he said just above a whisper, close enough to Yu's face that his breath tickled. "I'll see you then, yeah?"

Yu turned his head and gave Yosuke a peck on his temple, just above where his glasses sat. "See you then."

Watching him skip out of the hallway and down the stairs, Yu breathed a sigh of relief. He could do this.

\-----

Sunday couldn't come fast enough, as far as Yu was concerned.

Yosuke had texted him with movie times, and together they agreed on an afternoon showing followed by dinner. He even went as far as buying a new shirt for their date, a black button down made of soft cotton that he cuffed the sleeves on. He knew his wardrobe was still drab, but Yu knew he looked best in neutrals.

Yosuke also seemed to be dressed for a date when they met in the hallway, sporting cropped pants that showed off his calves and a collarless polo with the front buttons undone. It revealed a silvery pendant that hung on a leather cord around his neck. He looked stunning.

Yu was nervous, but it seemed that Yosuke was too, blushing a little harder than normal when their hands would brush together on the train. Shy smiling eyes half-hidden by glasses stared up at him frequently.

Yosuke had picked the movie, so Yu didn't bother looking it up. It turned out to be a thriller, something that bordered on horror but not quite. Yosuke ushered him to a pair of seats in the very back row, the projector above their heads. Yu wanted to raise the armrest between their seats and pull him closer, but the theater was about half full. It probably wasn't a good idea.

They shared one small bucket of popcorn as the tension rose, too distracted to eat most of the time. More than once, Yu jerked and turned to hide his face against Yosuke's neck, the tension too much to bear. The smell of Yosuke's skin was comforting, even as he pulled away and whispered an apology. Yosuke only grinned.

The movie concluded and the lights rose, and Yu pulled himself away from where he had glued himself to Yosuke's side.

Thoroughly rattled, Yu's appetite was nowhere to be seen. But Yosuke took his arm and led him to a noodle shop, a tiny place with an indoor balcony seating area where he ordered a frightening amount of food. Gyoza and salmon skewers came first, along with a large lemon sour that Yosuke immediately took a swig of. He ordered a rum and cola for Yu, which wasn't to his taste but he finished anyway.

Once their noodles came, heavy with hot broth, beef, and mushrooms, Yosuke ordered another lemon sour and helped Yu pick out a martini with cranberry juice that sat much better. They laughed and talked, Yosuke gesturing wildly with his chopsticks as he talked around a mouth full of noodles. The heat was seeping into Yu's cheeks and staying, and he couldn't tell if it was his drink or if he was just drunk on Yosuke, his laugh, his smile, the lilt of his voice.

"Want another drink?"

The food was all gone, though Yu's memory was hazy around the edges and he wasn't sure when it disappeared. He felt sort of warm all over, and before he realized it, he'd undone another button on his shirt to try and cool himself.

"I shouldn't," he said. "I'm kind of a. Uh. Lightweight."

Taking a final sip from his lemon sour and setting the rest aside, Yosuke motioned for the waitress. He paid the tab and Yu let him, trying not to notice how many large bills he used. They walked to catch a surface train back to the apartment complex, leaning on each other and giggling randomly.

Once inside the safety of the second floor hallway, Yu felt an arm coil around his waist as Yosuke pressed in close, half leaning and half hugging. Yu let him, swinging his arm around to pull him closer, slumping against his apartment door as Yosuke crowded him against it.

He was close, so close, smelling like lemon sour and orange shampoo and Yu was so dizzy.

"Well?" Yosuke's voice was just a bit lower, huskier. "Aren't you gonna invite me in for coffee?"

A laugh bubbled up from somewhere in Yu's chest. "I don't have a coffee maker," he answered, awkwardly jiggling his keys until they fit in the lock. "We could probably find something else, though."

Yosuke's grin filled his vision as the door gave way and they both tumbled into Yu's apartment. They barely managed to separate long enough to flick on the light and toe off their shoes, one of Yosuke's socks staying in his sneaker. If he even noticed, he didn't show, letting Yu press him against the inside of the door.

There was a long moment where they remained like that, eyes locked, noses almost touching. Yu watched brown eyes dart back and forth between his. The tension was building up, just like in the movie, waiting for the moment it would snap.

Yosuke moved first, plunging forward to kiss Yu, slow and sweet, dragging his bottom lip between his teeth. Yu let him lead, letting himself melt against Yosuke as arms circled his neck. He never knew just how good it could feel to kiss someone, not until he knew the feeling of Yosuke's tongue sliding against his, hot breath on his face.

With a push Yosuke sent them both careening away from the door. Yu tried to stay standing to no avail, and his backside hit the living room mats. An undiginfied 'oof' came out of his mouth. Yosuke chuckled, stalking over, one socked foot and the other bare, putting them on either side of Yu's hips. He grinned down at him, licking his lips.

Reaching up to tug on his shirt, Yu beckond him down and Yosuke obeyed, planting his knees where his feet had been. Some shuffling, a bit of unmanly squeaking, and Yosuke was planted firmly in Yu's lap and wrapping fingers around the back of his neck to re-initiate their kiss.

Slow and sweet was quickly becoming impatient and aggressive, Yosuke tugging gently on Yu's hair and sucking on his tongue. Yu shuddered against the sensation, flexing his hips upward to grind against Yosuke's ass. His neighbord, boyfriend, whatever he was at this point, ground back, breaking away with a gasp. Yu went straight for his throat, licking a long stripe from the hollow of his collar bone, up over his adam's apple, ending with a nip to his chin. Yosuke's moan was delicious without the tin of computer speakers to interrupt it.

Yu was pushed away, grunting as his back connecting with the mat. Yosuke leaned over him, fingers going for the buttons on his new dress shirt, starting at the one he'd opened in the restaurant, too low for what as usually considered appropriate for public. A small voice in his head told him that this was probably too fast, too much too soon, but the feeling of hot, damp palms on his chest and stomach silenced that voice.

Yu had never been touched by anyone else before, never wanting to let anyone get too close, keeping himself carefully guarded. But Yosuke had come upon him like a storm and blown past all his defenses, a hurricane that left him gasping for air as a burning hot tongue swept up his ribs and grazed over a nipple.

Bucking his hips, Yu's fingers found the hem of Yosuke's shirt and tugged. With a smack Yosuke's lips left his chest and he straightened up, yanking the polo over his head and flinging it aside. His glasses clattered away somewhere, Yu didn't care where, all he knew or cared about was getting Yosuke's skin against his and tugged their chests together.

The weight of a body on his was sublime as they ground together, the length of Yosuke's cock hard and hot through the layers of their pants and underwear. He fumbled for his belt, letting out a frustrated grunt when it refused to budge. A laugh that he felt through his stomach and Yosuke was batting his hands away, wrenching open his fly.

Yosuke pulled out his dick and stroked it with his palm, licking his lips. Yu was transfixed, the pink head peeking out from his foreskin in a way that made his mouth water. He wanted to get his mouth on that cock, suck it until Yosuke screamed, but he couldn't with the way Yosuke was sitting on his lap.

Instead he tore at his own belt, practically ripping his jeans open to get his own dick out. He thought he saw Yosuke nod in approval but he couldn't really think, not with his face this hot and his vision swimming and Yosuke's fingers trailing up and down his shaft. Yosuke was flushed pink from ears to chest, his freckles standing out, skin shining where the sweat was beginning to show.

Bracing one hand on the floor, Yosuke use the other to press their cocks together. The friction sent a shockwave up Yu's spine that made him arch and groan. Yosuke leaned over him, panting, grinding his hips down as he pumped their cocks against each other, smearing wetness against his hand and both of their bellies.

It was like Yosuke reached right in his head and pulled out one of his fantasies, the ones he'd have late at night when he was lonely and frustrated. The ones he'd have about a cam boy with yellow eyes and orange hair.

Yu pulled Yosuke down, smashing their bodies together in a way that hurt but he needed more. He needed the fantasy to come true now more than ever, here, as he could feel the heat in his stomach building and his breath quickening, thrusting his hips into his hand.

Shuddering, Yu was almost there, ready to let go. He leaned in, nipped at an earlobe.

_"Jiraya."_

The motion stopped.

It took Yu a few seconds to even register it, his brain so clouded with uninhibited lust. Yosuke had stopped moving entirely, freezing up, his spine bowstring tight under Yu's hands. Then slowly he pulled away, and Yu met eyes that were wide with what might have been shock.

"What did you call me?"

Yu's brow creased. Why did it matter? Why did Yosuke stop? Why now, when he was so close, he could come if Yosuke would touch him for five more seconds-

Then it hit him. Yu sucked in a breath, his alcohol-heavy brain registering that he'd called Yosuke by his cam boy name, the one thing he'd been trying so hard to hide and _oh fucking god he'd fucked up so bad._

"I-" Yu croaked, then swallowed. "I didn't mean--"

But Yosuke was already leaping off of him and scooting away, raising his knees to his chest in defense, his breath coming out in short, panicky bursts.

"How do you know that name?" The question was barely a rasp.

Yu's jaw was moving but no sounds were coming out. He sat up, his shirt catching on his arms and binding him, halting his movement as he tried to reach out. Yosuke jerked away, then, in a flurry of movement, he dove for his polo shirt and yanked it over his head. In another motion he'd hauled his pants up, grabbed his shoes, and darted out the door, leaving it hanging halfway open in his wake.

The sound of Yosuke's apartment door slamming made Yu's stomach lurch. He sat on his floor for a few more minutes, dick still hanging out of his pants, shirt undone, before dragging himself up to shut his own apartment door.

A pervasive numbness was creeping into his veins as Yu removed his clothes and sat on his futon. He thought he heard, very faintly, the sound of a door clicking shut, and hurried footsteps moving away. Yu moved to the window and pushed the curtain aside with a finger. He saw Yosuke jogging towards the train station, a backpack over his shoulder.

Yu flopped on his futon and stared at the ceiling, swallowing the nausea that welled up inside him from guilt and shame.

 


	10. Watching

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Extending this to 11 chapters so I can wrap it up properly with a short epilogue :} Thanks again to maskedhero for being my ever patient beta reader/idea sounding board.

Yu called in sick to work on Monday.

He didn't have to feign illness, not with the way his stomach was churning. He'd almost thrown up twice in the night, somehow managing to keep all the noodles, beef, and martini down. Sleep never came, though, and he spent hours staring at the walls of his apartment, wondering how much longer he would be able to call this place home.

As Monday went on, the exhaustion set it, and with it came mild hysteria. He wanted to run, run away as fast and as far as he could. He'd ruined everything, all because he couldn't keep his mouth shut. But he had nowhere to go, save his uncle's house - which was in a town Yosuke would frequent, where his parents and friends were.

Yu thought of Yukiko and Chie, and doubted he could continue a friendship with either of them. They'd been Yosuke's friends for years, so it was logical that they would side with him. Did they even know what Yosuke did for a living? Did it matter? He would most likely tell them that Yu was a stalker, a creep. And what reason would they have to doubt Yosuke, a man they'd known since high school?

Sometime near sunset Yu dragged himself into the bath, pulling his knees up to his chin in the hot water. His thoughts weren't becoming any calmer, but the fatigue was lowering the internal screaming to a buzz in his head. From there, some tiny part of him wondered if he should have even left his parent's home. Wondered if they'd take him back now.

He shook his head hard enough to slosh water out of the tub. No, that wasn't an option. Even if - and it was a very, very slim chance - they would take him back, he wouldn't go. Yu left that horrible existence behind, and no matter how much heartbreak or struggle he might encounter, it would always be better than playing doll for those people.

But the worst of all of it wasn't the idea that he might have to move, or losing two friends, or any of the other complications. The knife in his heart was that Yosuke probably hated him, feared him, was disgusted by him - and Yu was madly in love with him. Not Jiraya, not the cam boy, but _Yosuke,_ wonderful, sparkling Yosuke. And he'd lost him.

Heaving a defeated sigh, Yu climbed out of the bath and dressed in pajamas. He managed to choke down some food before attempting to sleep. He still had to go to work tomorrow. His life was going to go on, ready or not.

\-----

Work was hell.

Yu tried to focus, he honestly did, but his productivity was suffering greatly. In the restroom mirror, he caught his reflection, and grimaced. It was painfully obvious that his total hours of sleep in the last two days could be counted on one hand, the skin under his eyes dark.

His coworker, the same woman who had guessed that Yu had found a girlfriend, noticed immediately and guessed a breakup. Yu didn't really know how to respond, but apparently his silence said more than enough as she patted his arm and offered sympathy.

Once home, Yu found Yosuke's glasses in a corner of his main room, flung aside whe they were... He squeezed his eyes shut against the memory. Placing the glasses in a plastic bag, he crept out and hung them on Yosuke's door.

He figured it didn't matter anymore, so Yu checked the Midnight Channel. As expected, there was no stream. And as far as he knew, Yosuke hadn't returned to his apartment since Sunday.

It wasn't hard to figure out why. Yu didn't try to call or text him.

\-----

By Friday, Yu was able to sleep at night, the anxiety and self-hate replaced with numbness. He began looking online for a new apartment, which was depressing enough to destroy his appetite. There were a few rooms on the other side of town that he could afford, though they were only studio efficiency units.

A grim part of him mused that at least his small collection of furniture would fill a single room better.

On the weekend, he pondered going to visit his uncle for advice, but quickly realized how bad of an idea it was. If Yosuke left, there was a good chance he went to stay in Inaba, either with his parents or friends. He didn't want to risk running into him there, lest Yosuke think that Yu really was stalking him. The thought made him sick all over again.

He had no one to call, no one to go to. He'd set fire to his safety net with one word.

Yu spent the weekend going over his finances, calculating how much he would be set back by a move. When he wasn't doing that, he was picking at food or curled in his futon, buried under blankets despite the summer heat that was making its way inside.

Sunday came, making it a full week since the biggest fuckup of Yu's life. He needed groceries, though he still took nearly no joy in eating. It has been raining nearly all day, so Yu grabbed his umbrella as he exited his apartment.

He was locking his door, slow and lethargic, as footsteps thumped up the stairs. Yu turned, expecting Mrs. Ota or another neighbor.

It was Yosuke.

Standing at the top of the steps, clutching the strap of his backpack, eyes wide. Yosuke was still without his glasses, meaning he'd been away from his apartment for an entire week.

He took a small step back towards the stairs, frightened eyes locked on Yu.

"Wait," Yu breathed. Yosuke halted.

What could he even say? Apologize? How do you apologize for something like this, for such a gross breach of trust?

"Can we just..." Yu swallowed. "Talk?"

Yosuke didn't immediately bolt, which was potentially a good sign. He looked at the floor, the walls, then back to Yu's face.

"I'm not going into your apartment," Yosuke's voice was so hushed and small, Yu felt an intense stab of guilt. He was right, Yosuke didn't trust him anymore. Rightfully so.

"No, no," Yu tried, staying rooted at his door. "Somewhere else-" he searched his memory desperately, finally producing: "The coffee shop on the corner?"

Yosuke bit his lip, shifted his weight, eyed the stairs behind him. After a long stretch of tense silence he nodded.

"Fine. But don't follow me there. Wait five minutes, then go."

Yu nodded, his heart sinking, and unlocked his door. He went back inside, the sound of footsteps down the stairs fading away.

He kept his word and waited eight minutes before leaving his apartment again. The rain had slowed enough that it was no longer pouring, but Yu's shoes were still soaked by the time he entered the small cafe. He went to the counter and bought a plain coffee, a payment for being in the space.

Looking around, he spotted Yosuke's familiar head of hair in a corner booth, far away from the other patrons, in the seat closest to the door. Yu knew why he chose that seat - so that if Yosuke needed to run, Yu couldn't block his path to the exit.

Yu tried to breathe around the pain in his chest.

Slowly and deliberately, he slid into the open seat in the booth, setting his coffee on the table and his wet umbrella aside. Yosuke had a drink as well, some fancy thing that was topped with an ungodly amount of whipped cream and caramel that looked entirely untouched.

Neither spoke for several minutes. Yu had no idea where to even begin.

"How did you find me?" Yosuke asked, shattering the silence. His voice was tense in a way Yu had never heard.

"Huh?"

Finally looking up from his drink, Yosuke's gaze was hard set. There were circles under his eyes, too.

"I've been careful," Yosuke explained. "I route that stream signal through half a dozen proxy servers. I use a voice filter. I change the color balance so my hair looks different, I wear makeup and contacts." He gripped at his cup. "So how the hell did you find me?"

Yu's stomach bottomed out. Yosuke did think he was a stalker. _Oh god._

"No, no," he tried, his hand jerking enough to spill a bit of hot coffee on his fingers. "That's not-" Yu had to swallow bile. This couldn't be happening.

"I didn't seek you out, Yosuke, I swear." Keeping the panic out of his voice was impossible, and Yu's eyes darted around the cafe to see if anyone was eavesdropping. "It was a coincidence."

"A coincidence," Yosuke repeated, unconvinced.

Panic was seeping under Yu's skin, speeding his pulse. "It's... I moved here for my job," Yu tried to explain. "My parents - they were so awful, I had to get away, to anywhere else. This was the first place I could escape to." He pushed his cup of coffee to the end of the booth, the smell making his nausea worse. He grabbed a napkin to wipe away the spill, hands shaking. "That apartment was convenient. I could afford it. I didn't... I had no idea..."

Daring to meet Yosuke's eyes, he was met with the expression of someone thoroughly unimpressed. He could feel any hope he had of a peaceful resolution draining away.

Yu continued, talking more than he ever would under any other circumstance, compelled by a desperate need to at least apologize properly. "When I realized it was you, I felt sick. I felt like a creep." He closed his eyes against the sting growing there. "I stopped watching. I couldn't, it felt so wrong, and... and I really like you, Yosuke, you're so amazing and fun, I'm-"

He cut himself off, biting his lip. The unspoken _in love with you_ hung between them. But Yosuke didn't budge. He hadn't moved at all since Yu sat down, in fact, his spine locked and shoulders hunched. His body language was closed off and hostile.

Too exhausted and broken to stop them, tears rolled down Yu's cheeks.

"I'm sorry," he said, voice straining. "I'll find another place soon. I won't bother you again."

Yu stood from the booth and walked out, dimly registering the stares he was getting for his tear streaked face. He went out into the rain, back to his apartment, not caring that he'd left his umbrella in the cafe.

When he returned home, soaked and shivering, Yu undressed and went for his futon. He took out his phone, went for the contact list, and scrolled four spaces to find _Yosuke Hanamura._

He clicked delete, closed his phone, and buried his face into his pillow.

\-----

During his lunch on Monday, Yu made three phone calls. He secured two appointments to view other apartments, the third had no current openings. Even as it stood, the soonest he could move would be next month. Until then, he'd just have to stay here and hope he didn't cross paths with Yosuke again.

Yu returned home to find his umbrella leaning against the door frame. He dared a glance at the door of the next apartment, sighing sadly.

That evening he half-watched the news, his brain still in overdrive. He tried to look at the positive side: his life wasn't actually over, even if it felt like it. He could find other friends, he still had his job. It would work out. And the rational part of his brain knew that eventually the wound of losing Yosuke would heal. But right now, the ache was still so much, throbbing below his ribs as if a piece of him had been cut away.

He wasn't really paying attention to what day it was, going through the motions at work and coming home to poke at a plate of instant curry that was quickly going cold. Eating was difficult, as was sleeping, full of nightmares and unease. A part of him hoped, for the sake of his health, that he could move to a new place soon. Starting over felt like the only thing that would fix him.

There was a tapping, and it took Yu a few seconds to realize it was coming from his door. Muting the TV, he stood, limbs protesting. He was only half aware of his movements as he unlocked and opened his door.

"Yes?"

Yosuke was in the hallway, arms crossed over his chest, looking shrunken and miserable.

Yu had to clutch the door for support.

"Can I come in?" Yosuke asked after a long and tense silence.

A million questions came to Yu, most promiantly several variations of _what the fuck,_ but he let the door swing open and backed away from it. Yosuke stepped in, no shoes over his socks, and gently closed the door behind him, staying in the entryway.

Without any noise from the television, the apartment was eerily quiet. Yu couldn't stand the tension and spoke.

"I... think I found a new place. So I'll be moving in a month."

Yosuke's gaze snapped up then, once again wearing his glasses. He looked pained and tired, his eyes red rimmed as he shifted his weight.

"Don't go," he said, the words tiny and frail.

Yu blinked. Did he hear that right?

Yosuke took a step forward, uncurling just enough to raise his head. "Don't go," he said again, his voice wavering. "I don't want you to go."

Frozen in place, Yu could only stare at him. This had to be a dream.

"I thought you hated me."

Yosuke shrugged, rubbing at his arms. "I wanted to," he admitted, looking at the wall.

The silence was so heavy. Yu had no idea how to react, what to say. Did that mean Yosuke didn't hate him? He must, at the very least, not be afraid of him anymore, if he was willing to come inside Yu's apartment. But what did that mean? He'd never felt so lost. His right arm moved, seemingly on its own, to reach out to Yosuke. Halfway there, he closed his fingers and pulled his hand back to his chest with a sigh.

Yosuke shuffled forward two more steps, then held out his hand. Yu stared at his fingers, the callouses from his guitar. He reached out again and let his fingers rest against Yosuke's palm, ready to pull away if he needed to.

"Chie said I should never talk to you again. But... I really like you, too." Yosuke's fingers closed, squeezing Yu's. He looked him in the eye, then, and saw frustration and doubt reflected there.

"What am I supposed to do?" Yosuke asked.

One of their hands was sweaty, or maybe they both were. "I don't know."

Yosuke chewed on his lip, then slid his feet forward to close the distance, his fingers gripping Yu's tighter. He let his forehead drop on to Yu's shoulder, letting out a long sigh. They stood there together, long enough for the news to end and a game show to begin on the muted television. The instant curry was long forgotten, congealing on the plate, the cup of tea cold.

"Hey," Yosuke's voice was soft as he lifted his head. "Can we maybe... start over? Try again?"

Yu let out a breath of relief that he felt all the way to his toes. "Yeah."

Yosuke sought out his other hand and gripped it, leaning to touch their foreheads together. It took effort for Yu to keep from laughing out loud, the happy swell in his heart almost too much. It felt like coming back to life. It felt like home, the comfort of Yosuke's smell, the heat that rolled off his body. A lock of hair had fallen in front of Yosuke's glasses, and Yu released one of his hands to brush it away.

Then Yosuke kissed him, gently, just like he had the very first time, and Yu leaned into it, letting his hands settle softly of a pair of skinny hips. Pulling back, Yosuke searched his face. Then he kissed Yu again, then again, harder, more urgent.

Yu didn't really register that they were moving until his back hit the wall, Yosuke pushing him into it, nipping at Yu's lips. He practically shoved his tongue in Yu's mouth, demanding. It was sudden and intense and Yu couldn't resist, not with the hungry noises Yosuke was making, trembling fists balling up in Yu's shirt. He ground his hips forward and Yu let out a sharp groan into Yosuke's mouth. The room spun a bit.

It took Yosuke three tries to pull away, the first failure because Yu chased his mouth, and the second because he dove back in on his own. He panted softly, his lips plump and wet with saliva, cheeks flushed.

"It's Tuesday," Yosuke breathed.

Yu blinked, his brain full of fog. He hadn't even realized the day of the week, operating entirely on auto pilot.

"It's almost time for the Midnight Channel." Yosuke's voice was deep and breathless. Yu could only nod in response, not really knowing what he could say and too afraid of screwing up again.

He was kissed again, forcefully, Yosuke sucking on his tongue and lips, breaking away with a wet smack. "I want you to watch," he said in a rush of exhaled breath.

Yu's eyes went wide, a full body shudder overtaking him. He must have hit his head. This had to be a hallucination, a fever dream. Yosuke was stepping back, tugging on Yu's arms, pulling him towards the door.

Shaking his head to try and clear the haze from his vision, Yu stuttered. "Y-Yosuke, what...?"

Sliding up to the door and going for the knob, Yosuke licked his lips once. "I want you to _watch,_ " he repeated, opening the door and pulling Yu into the hallway. And Yu let himself be pulled, bewildered, barely managing to close his door behind him.

Yu found himself dragged inside apartment 209, the door shut and locked behind him. Yosuke kept pulling, past the shelves full of CDs and DVDs, the posters and figures. Back to the single bedroom where the door was carefully shut. Yosuke let go of Yu's wrist to pull it open, then snatched his arm up again.

The first thing Yu noticed was the cushion on the floor, the same pattern he knew from Yosuke's streams, and held his breath. He didn't get much chance to look around as his arm was yanked and his back slammed against the corner wall.

Yosuke crushed him against it, pinning Yu with his whole body. A hot breath went over Yu's ear as Yosuke whispered: "Stay here. Don't move." Then hands on his shoulders forced Yu down the wall, sliding until his rear hit the floor. Yosuke towered over him.

"I have to get ready," he panted. Then Yosuke pushed away from the wall and left the room.

Yu sat in shock for several minutes, staring at the door, trying to process what was happening. Yosuke wanted him to _watch?_ Did he mean...?

He then took stock of the small bedroom. The cushion was there, lower to the floor that he'd though it would be. Around it were several tripods; one held a small digital camera, while two others were sporting odd odd shaped boxes, and large, fuzzy microphones. There was a tray table that held a laptop, into which several cords were feeding. He then noticed the walls, covered with dimpled foam from floor to ceiling. Even the floors, ceiling, and the inside of the door were covered in rubbery mats.

The room was _soundproofed._ Well. It certainly explained how he never heard Yosuke's streams through the walls.

Yu swallowed, eyeing the small box that sat to one side of the cushion. He had an idea of what it contained. Before he could think much more of it, the door creaked open.

Yosuke strode in, wearing his Jiraya makeup, yellow contacts, and _nothing else._ A sound came out of Yu's mouth that sounded both pitiful and eager as his gaze swept up Yosuke's lean body, from his toned calves and perfect thighs, all the way up his torso. Yosuke was already hard, too, his cock standing out proudly from his hips, a little bead of moisture at the tip.

The door clicked shut, and Yosuke stared him down, the flush in his cheeks and neck still coming through the pale foundation that covered his freckles. Yu opened his mouth to speak and was immediately hushed.

"You have to be quiet," Yosuke scolded. "And don't move. The mics will pick up any sound you make."

Yosuke went to sit on the cushion and went about fiddling with the equipment that surrounded him. He switched on the two boxes, which turned out to be lights, bathing him in a soft glow. He typed at the laptop, switched the camera on and off, even held a set of headphones to one ear as he did a sound check. It was earie to watch, given that he was buck naked with his dick was still fully at attention. He bent to the side to fish a few items out of the small box and set the on the cushion. Yosuke turned to Yu, his expression difficult to read behind all the thick eyeliner, shuffling onto his knees with his thighs spread apart. Then carefully and deliberately, Yosuke shifted the camera tripod, sliding it so that it sat directly between himself and Yu.

"Get comfortable," Yosuke ordered. "Because I need you to sit still."

Yu gulped, shuffling in place so he was facing Yosuke fully. With a few taps at his laptop, a tiny red light on the camera lit, and Yosuke smiled.

"I'm glad you're here," he said, his voice dripping with arousal. "I almost couldn't wait for you."

Yu couldn't tell if Yosuke was addressing him or the camera.

Yosuke started playing with his cock, palming the underside while his other hand traced the inside of his thighs. "I've thought about this a lot, you know." He used his thumb and index finger to pinch at the base of his cock, sliding it upwards until a drop of fluid dripped from the head. Yu watched it hit the cushion below and bit his tongue. He was too blindsided by the sudden turn of events to notice it before, but now his dick throbbed against his boxers and jeans, making his fingers scratch against the floor mats.

"Do you like watching me?"

Almost too distracted to realize that Yosuke was asking him and not the audience watching the live stream, Yu grimaced, feeling a wash of embarrassment as he nodded once.

"Good," Yosuke huffed, using both hands to cradle his balls. "Because I like _being_ watched."

Yu had to curl one of his hands over his mouth to keep from moaning out loud. That was probably the hottest thing he'd ever heard, and hearing it in person made sweat prickle up on his back. He had to press his hand even harder as Yosuke picked up a red ring of plastic from beside him and stretched it over his dick, letting it tighten at the base.

Shuddering, Yosuke bent over a bit, his breath already in shallow puffs. "I can't remember the last time I was this hard," he panted. "I have to use this, or I won't last."

Yu had to hold his breath and count to ten.

Yosuke, however, didn't relent, playing with his foreskin as he bit at his bottom lip. His hips were jumping slightly, jerking in time with his fingers as his other hand trailed up to his chest to pinch one of his nipples. He alternated between stroking his cock with his whole hand and ghosting his fingers along it, his breath hitching.

"I liked to fantasize," he began, interrupted by his own heavy breaths, "what you'd be like if I got you here like this." Yosuke's other hand left his chest and dipped down to his balls, then behind them to press at the flesh there, making his hips buck.

"Would you s-sit quietly and just watch?" His fingers dipped again and this time Yosuke moaned so sweet, tilting his head back. "Or... or would you not be able to stop yourself?" He looked Yu dead in the eye, still stroking his cock. "Would you come right o-over here and ravage me?"

Covering his mouth wasn't enough. Yu bit his hand, the pain barely enough to keep a loud groan at bay. Yosuke smiled at him, breathing out a laugh that ended with a gasp.

"You won't. You're a good boy, aren't you? You'll sit there until I'm done, won't you?"

Yu nodded furiously, wanting to shout _yes, please, anything you want._ This was hotter than anything he'd ever seen, more than he could stand, circuits in his brain overloading as he trembled with the strain to remain still. Yosuke was less than five feet away and it was maddeningly unfair. But he held his tongue, staying quiet, his other hand going to press at where his cock was bulging at the front of his jeans.

"No." The order was dark and dangerous. "Don't touch yourself. I want to be the one that gets you off."

There was a soft 'thump' as Yu's head hit the wall behind him. This was too much, slipping two of his fingers into his mouth to rest against his tongue and suck. Yosuke kept going and time was moving agonizingly slow, Yu hyper focused on Yosuke's body, the twitch of his stomach, the sweat gathering at the center of his chest, the wet sound of his hand on his cock. He looked so delicious like that, beginning to pant open mouthed, the room filled with gasping moans as Yosuke's whole body rocked in time with his strokes, his dick dripping.

"I can't," he moaned, shuddering. "I can't s-stand it anymore...!" Grunting, he pried the cock ring from where it sat, something akin to a sob bursting from his chest when it was finally off. He took his cock in hand and began stroking hard and fast.

"Watch me," Yosuke panted. "Watch me...!"

And Yu did, he watched as Yosuke exploded, crying out hoarsely as semen splattered his chest and stomach. For a second, Yu was sure he would come in his pants from the sight alone, Yosuke taking much longer to come down from it than he'd ever seen.

Panting, Yosuke locked his yellow eyes on Yu. His breath began to even out, and he straightened his spine. Yu lost a battle and a tiny squeak escaped him, Yosuke flushed and spoiled, leveling a hungry gaze at him.

With a small motion, Yosuke reached up and shut the camera off, the red light flicking out. A few taps at keyboard, and he stood. He sauntered over to Yu, just a few strides, his feet coming to rest at either side of his legs. Then with two thumps, one after the other, Yosuke was dropping to his knees and settling himself in Yu's lap. He pulled the fingers in Yu's mouth loose with a wet 'shlick.'

Yosuke kissed him, slow and deep. Yu's mind was blown, so much that he barely registered his belt being undone, not until a hot, damp hand was pulling his aching cock free. Hissing, Yu let one hand grip Yosuke's thigh.

"Come on," Yosuke was murmuring, stroking him. It was happening so fast, Yu impossibly keyed up, blood roaring in his ears as he pulled Yosuke against him, squeezing his ribs, moaning against a sweat-damp shoulder.

When Yu came, he thought he may have yelled but he didn't know for sure. It didn't feel like an orgasm so much as an atomic blast, all the way through his bones and lungs, the universe dissolving into one point; the body in his lap, the breath in his ear. _Yosuke._

It felt like a struggle just to breathe, to try and get enough air because god, everything was so hot, he was burning up from the inside. There were fingers on the back of his neck, stroking the skin there. Yu realized he was shaking, and the puff of breath against his temple was Yosuke whispering to him.

"Easy, I've got you, shhh."

It took some time for Yu's breath to slow and the tremors in his limbs to subside. He pulled back from Yosuke, yellow eyes staring down at him. Yu sought out a mouth and kissed, two, three times, whimpering into them.

Yosuke was stroking his cheek. "You okay?"

He wasn't anywhere near okay. Yu had blown straight past okay into total euphoria. He nodded anyway, his voice cracking. "Are you?"

With a smile, Yosuke nodded and pulled back, his smile turning into a grimace. "Oh... shit. Uh. Sorry about your shirt...?"

Yu looked down. His shirt was ruined, stained with two doses of come, smeared everywhere. He chuckled, and then Yosuke laughed along with him.

They exited the bedroom together and went straight for the bath, Yosuke leading him by the hand. Yu stripped out of his sullied shirt and pants while Yosuke took out his contacts and used a makeup wipe to clean away the copious eyeliner. Water spilled from the tub and poured into the drain in the floor as the climbed in together, Yosuke settling against Yu's back with a sigh.

Tracing a pattern on Yosuke's chest with his finger, Yu turned his head to put lips to his ear.

"Should we talk about this?"

Yosuke shrugged, wiggling and turning in Yu's arms to rest his cheek against Yu's collarbone. "Tomorrow," he yawned. "I think I'm too tired after all that."

They stayed in the bath until their fingers pruned, and then dressed, Yu borrowing a pair of sweatpants and a faded tee shirt. Together they retreated to Yu's apartment upon Yosuke's request, and settled in to the futon, where Yosuke curled in and pressed his face against Yu's neck.

When sleep came, it was calm, blissful, and clear.

 


	11. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Eeeeyyy I'm finally done with this piece. Thanks for reading and for all your great comments! <3

Birds chirping was what awoke him from the floaty haze of sleep, like he was in a movie. He felt at ease enough that he must have been in one, as if this kind of contentment could only be scripted. Any minute now a soundtrack would start playing.

Yu's eyes fluttered open to freckles and wild hair. He was curled around Yosuke's back, face buried against the top of his spine, arms tangled around him. He could feel the steady rise and fall of Yosuke's chest as he breathed gently, still sleeping. He was definitely in a movie. A romantic one.

At least he was until a slight unease tugged somewhere in his mind. With the arm that wasn't under Yosuke's head, Yu carefully felt around for his phone, lifting it and pressing the volume button to light the screen when he found it.

7:52am.

_"Shit!"_

Yosuke jerked awake with a snort as Yu pried himself loose, almost tripping on the blanket as he struggled to stand.

"Whas happenin?" Yosuke asked, still mostly asleep. Yu was busy pulling his last clean dress shirt from the closet, along with an undershirt, suit pants and tie.

"I have to go to work," he explained.

There was a hum. "You could call in," the suggestion was rough with sleep.

"Can't," Yu countered, retrieving a clean pair of socks and boxers from a drawer. "I did that last week."

Leaving Yosuke in the bedroom, Yu rushed to the bathroom to brush his teeth, wash his face, and dress. He'd have to skip breakfast, hopefully he could get something from the vending machines at the train station.

He had the collar of his shirt popped up to fasten his tie when there was a knock at the bathroom door. "Come in."

The door creaked open and Yosuke stepped in, leaning against the frame. Yu's fingers stopped as he eyed him; baggy shirt hanging off one shoulder, striped pajama pants, bare feet, sheet prints on his cheek and the most impressive bedhead. Yosuke was rubbing the sleep from one of his eyes, squinting against the bathroom light. It was precious.

Yosuke gave him a look and Yu knew he'd been caught staring. With a flash of heat in his cheeks he turned back to the mirror to finish the knot in his tie, the fabric whistling as he drew it tight.

"Sorry," Yosuke's voice was tiny. "Didn't mean to make you oversleep."

Folding his collar down, Yu shook his head. "It's my fault for not setting my alarm." He took out a comb and attempted to get his hair to obey him, mostly succeeding. When he turned to leave the bathroom, Yosuke moved to let him past. He gathered up his suit jacket and briefcase, pocketing his phone and wallet as he went for the door. Yosuke was behind him, his own apartment keys in hand.

They stared at each other for a moment after Yu slipped on his shoes, their height difference made even more obvious. Yu pulled Yosuke into his arms, albeit awkwardly with how he was still holding his briefcase and jacket in one arm. Yosuke went willingly, letting himself be cradled.

"I should be home around six," Yu said, pulling back. "I... want to talk. About this."

Yosuke nodded. They exited Yu's apartment, and Yosuke went back to his own as Yu locked his door and waved goodbye.

\-----

He managed to only be four minutes late, and the day sped by, despite Yu's hunger through the first half of it. The hospital cafeteria food was surprisingly satisfying; either that, or he was too famished to care about the quality. Yu's coworker, the one that seemed to be keeping up with his relationship status, asked how things were going. He smiled at her.

"I think we made amends."

She seemed very pleased by this development, and insisted Yu purchase flowers right away.

When he returned to his apartment, Yosuke was waiting by his door, dressed in rather fashionable summer clothes - rolled up jeans, sneakers, and a band logo shirt - and fiddling with his phone. He slipped it into his pocket when Yu approached.

"Hey."

"Hey," Yu greeted, unlocking his door. "Want to come in?"

Yosuke nodded and followed. Inside they slipped off their shoes and Yu loosened his tie. This was going to be awkward.

"Hey, uh." Yosuke tugged at the sleeve of his shirt. "Have you eaten?"

Surprised, Yu was thrown off his game and stuttered a bit. "Oh. Um. I guess I haven't. Eaten."

Yosuke was already pulling out his phone and unlocking the screen. "I'll order some delivery. That okay?"

This wasn't how he expected the evening to go, but it wasn't exactly a bad change of pace. "Sure," Yu set his briefcase down near the entryway. "Mind if I take a quick bath?"

Sitting at the table, Yosuke shook his head as he brought his phone to his ear. "Not at all."

Yu gathered up some casual clothes as he could vaguely hear Yosuke ordering food, and slipped into the bathroom. He bathed quickly, scrubbing at his hair, trying to calm his nerves and also not wanting to make his neighbor... boyfriend? Whatever wait.

He came back out to find Yosuke at his door, paying a delivery man and coming back inside with two bags of take out containers. He had ordered tempura bowls that made the cafeteria lunch Yu had pale in comparison, along with two cans of lemon soda. Yu sat on his cushion and put on the news for background noise as they ate, their conversation oddly filled with benign small talk. The weather, work, the looming summer festivals.

When the food was gone, Yosuke helped clean up the takeout bowls while Yu fixed two cups of tea. They sat at the table again, and the television was switched off. Yu's stomach fluttered despite being full of shrimp and rice.

"So," Yosuke began.

"So."

Yosuke sighed, removing his glasses and letting them clack against the table. He rubbed his eyes. "I don't even know where to start."

Yu chuckled. "That makes two of us."

Nodding, Yosuke took a sip of his tea. "I think... I think I believe you. About this being a coincidence."

Yu's eyebrows went up. "Really?"

"Yeah. I mean," Yosuke gestured vaguely. "You haven't given me reason to doubt you, y'know?" His cheeks went a little pink and he ducked his head. "It also kinda... saves me the trouble of figuring out how to tell you about it."

Nodding, Yu swished his tea in his cup. "I thought you'd tell me when you were ready."

"When did you figure it out?"

Blushing hotly, Yu remembered running through the rain with Yosuke. "Um." He rubbed at the back of his neck. "After the first time we went to the movies. You winked at me, and..."

Yosuke turned bright red. "Oh."

"Yeah."

The silence turned awkward, or possibly just became more awkward than it already was. Yosuke was staring at a space on the floor, chewing on his bottom lip, looking deep in thought.

"Does it bother you?"

Yu perked up. "Does what?"

Leveling his gaze, Yosuke straightened his spine. "What I do. The Midnight Channel. Does it bother you?"

He had to think about it. His first instinct was no, of course it didn't bother him. He watched the Midnight Channel, had gotten off to it dozens of times. But would that change now? Would he suddenly start caring if Yosuke became his boyfriend?

"No," Yu answered slowly. "It doesn't."

Yosuke's spine stayed rigid as he cocked an eyebrow. "You sure about that?"

Yu thought of his parents then, about how everything he did outside their instruction was seen as a nuisance. It was always about control; specifically, them controlling him. And now that he knew freedom, he couldn't turn around and give someone else the same treatment. Nodding, Yu let out a breath. "Yes. It's your life, I can't tell you what to do."

Yosuke narrowed his eyes at Yu, who held his gaze. Then, in a giant rush of exhaled air, Yosuke sagged, dropping his shoulders and sighing loudly.

"Wow. Okay, that's a load off."

He had to chuckle just a bit at Yosuke's reaction. "Were you that worried?"

Shifting to lean against the table, Yosuke took a swig of his tea and set it aside. "Oh yeah. Last time I told someone, it... went badly."

"Tell me about it."

He seemed surprised, running a hand through his dyed hair. "Ex girlfriend," Yosuke began, leaning back on his hands. "We met at work when I was still in high school. She was engaged to some guy and was trying to save enough money to move out of her parents house. He got tired of waiting, and left her. So she came to me." He sighed, looking away. "I'm not stupid, I know I was just a rebound. But we got along okay. We'd been together maybe six months, and she was getting suspicious about how I was making a living. So I told her."

"And?"

Yosuke shrugged. "She dumped me the next day. Said I was a freak."

Yu grimaced. "That's harsh."

With a sigh, Yosuke leaned over the table. "Maybe she was right," he lamented. "I masturbate in front of a camera for strangers on the internet. And I _get off_ on it."

He looked so shy then, leaning into his skinny arms. Yu reached over the table and curled his fingers over Yosuke's knuckles, squeezing gently. "Well, I'm fine with it," he told him. "And I don't think it makes you a freak. Not anymore than me, I guess."

Yosuke rolled his eyes, but smiled all the same. His fingers fanned, lacing themselves with Yu's.

"So are we a thing now?"

Mimicking Yosuke's pose, Yu leaned on the table and rested his head on his arms. "I'd like to be." He rubbed at the soft skin between Yosuke's knuckles with his fingertips. "You're smart and funny. And really gorgeous, just so you know."

With a squeak Yosuke buried his head in his arms, the tips of his ears turning pink. Yu laughed softly, shuffling around the corner of the table to press their sides together. Yosuke pulled his head up and nuzzled Yu's cheek.

"I'd like that too," He whispered, turning Yu's hand over to trace the lines in his palm. "You want to be with me, even though you've seen my darkest side. That's kind of awesome."

Yu kissed his temple, inhaling the scent of his hair. "I think you've seen mine, too."

They sat on the floor for a long while, Yosuke playing with one of Yu's hands and letting the other comb through his hair. This was what Yu had been searching for since leaving his old life behind. This was joy. This was peace.

"Are you still subscribed to my channel?"

The question caught Yu a little off guard, and he blushed hotly. "Er, yes? I stopped watching, but..."

"Well," Yosuke put on an indignant pout. "I'd rather you bought me flowers and candy, to be honest."

Yu blinked, then chuckled, pulling Yosuke into his lap. The TV was turned on again, and they spent the rest of the evening watching game shows and dramas, exchanging gentle touches and tiny kisses. And when it came time for bed, they curled together in Yu's futon, whispering goodnights. Yu fell asleep with his face buried brown hair, and he'd never felt happier.


End file.
